Community building with your whānau

Ways to give back with your kids...

This weekend is my most hated time of the year. I hate Guy Fawkes so much. I just can’t even put into words how much I hate it. To try to handle the intense negative feelings I have about private fireworks displays and the way they divide and harm communities - I thought I’d share a list of community building activities to combat them!

This is obviously not just a thing to do on Guy Fawkes weekend - you can have these discussions any time. You can pick the ones that resonate with your family and go from there. One a month…one a week? Whatever floats your boat.

We are so lucky that for many of us we have the privilege of our children learning about these issues instead of experiencing them. That’s what I always keep in mind.

Photo by David Kiriakidis

Let’s go!

• Learn about Parihaka. For Taranaki Māori, 5 November 1881 is known as Te Rā o te Pāhua or the Day of Plunder. Learn about Aotearoa’s history, peaceful resistance, the Land Wars, and racism as a whānau.

• Stand up for Midwives! As a whānau write letters to MPs and ask them to pay midwives fairly and to protect our midwifery model. Talk to your kids about their births, talk about your midwife - send them a message saying thank you, no matter how long it has been!

• Write a Christmas card for someone in need. Christmas can be a dark time in prison. The Prisoner Correspondence Network is holding their sixth annual Holiday Card Drive. This amazing community-led, volunteer-run organisation expects to send around 2,500 cards to 500 people in prison this year. Projected running costs for 2022 looking to be around $6,000 so donate here. Or send your own cards.

• Change your shopping habits. According to World Vision, every household in Aotearoa spends on average $34 a week on goods associated with either forced labour or child labour. We have no laws stopping products linked to child labour or forced labour from being imported into our country. Sign the World Vision petition to urge the New Zealand government to pass a Modern Slavery Act. Consider having a conversation as a family about what you can do to avoid your household spend on forced or child labour made goods. Could you do a clothes swap with your neighbours and friends? Could you buy second-hand on marketplace if you need new shoes?

• Would you change your name? A teenager has set up a petition to urge the government to lower the required age to legally change one’s name without parental permission to 16. Ask your kids what they think about it. Do they know anyone who has changed their name?

• If your kids could vote, who would they vote for? Talk about the ‘Make It 16’ campaign to allow teenagers aged 16 and older to vote with your tamariki. See if you’d like to get involved as a family. The Make It 16 website has heaps of great resources to read and discuss. It also has ideas for getting involved in the campaign.

• Talk about misinformation. Ask your kids what the last thing they heard that they weren’t sure was true was. You might be surprised. Watch the short film Siouxsie and the Virus and see what discussions come from that. It might also lead to a discussion on misogyny and bullying. If you like, you can also financially support the campaign turning the short film into a proper feature length documentary called Ms. Information.

• Raise money for Movember. Have a moustache party. Draw on some moustaches and donate some pocket money for prostate cancer, testicular cancer and men’s mental health and suicide prevention. My mate is a cancer survivor so if you’re looking to do a general donation, you can donate to his campaign! All money goes into the same pocket!

• Explore Te Reo Māori. Taranaki Whānui, Ngāti Toa and Wellington City Council have launched a new Māori language app called Mahau to celebrate, encourage and share te reo Māori in Te Whanganui-a-Tara. It’s a free, easy-to-use, interactive app to help locals and visitors to the city get started on their reo journey with phrases created specifically for Wellington City. 

• Go through your baby clothes - I totally understand that going through toys with your kids to work out what to donate is a futile exercise that will end in your lounge being covered in baby toys even though your kids are seven and ten (too specific?) But going through baby clothes is generally an OK activity to do with your tamariki. Talk about how sharing clothes is sharing community. Wash and bundle packs of clothes to give to your local refuge or charity for parents. The Nest Collective are awesome - they have volunteers all over the country. They have more than 100 community partners like Starship, Grandparents Raising Grandchildren, Te Whatu Ora (DHBs), Whānau Āwhina Plunket and more. Volunteer or donate! They collect any pre-loved items in good condition (as if gifting to a friend) clothing, books, bedding, blankets, toys, reusable nappies, breast pumps as well as larger items like bassinets, prams, baby baths and cots.

• School fair time! It’s that time of year when a small group of mothers at each school have a nervous breakdown over how few volunteers they have for the school fair. If you have any time - any time at all - volunteer for your local school fair. They desperately need volunteers! Schools and kindys are always struggling to make enough money to get by - if you help, they’ll love you forever!

• Prepare to volunteer. Over the school holidays you might like to do some volunteering as a family. There are heaps of great volunteering events over the summer - from tree planting to picking up rubbish. Check out Volunteer NZ and find your local volunteering centre and go from there. Or consider your skills and how you can share them? For example, in our family we talked about how Ham could play piano at our local retirement home. Or because he loves cats, he could volunteer to help at the Cats Protection League.

• Talk about what it means to be a kid. We loved this TedX Talk by a young kid - about how much she hates being called “childish”. It led to heaps of talks about how people treat kids. We talked about what it’s like being a kid.

Also, if you’re in Te Whanganui-a-Tara, Verb Festival Wellington stars tonight and goes through to next week. Come to the family events or come and see some incredible writers. There are free activities for kids and parents at City Gallery.

Support the arts! Writers and artists have had a tough time through the pandemic - getting people to our events is hard, and we’d love, love, love to see you! Come to LitCrawl - it’s free and it’s the absolute best vibe ever.

If you want to see me - I’m doing an event with the amazing Michèle A’Court called Radically Honest. And I’m doing LitCrawl (talking about SEX) with the awesome Melody Thomas!

Any other ideas? Share them with me. I’d love to know what you do as a family to build community. Arohanui Emily x