Welcome to Friday Night Chats. Except I’m sending it out during the day because I’m hoping you’re enjoying a day off - for Matariki. I’m also sending it out to everyone - FNC is usually something I only send to paid subscribers. We have a lovely community here.
Mānawatia a Matariki. Matariki is a special time for our whānau so this will be a short FNC as I’ll be with them doing our Matariki rituals of sharing kai, remembering loved ones we have lost and making wishes. I hope wherever you’re reading this you’re feeling loved.
My husband always makes soup over Matariki (the dates change every year obviously - we tend to just do ‘when we can see Te Huihui o Matariki’ (the cluster of stars of Matariki) slash ‘when we can’.
We say the names of the people we love and have lost to Pōhutukawa - the star that honours those who are now gone from this world. There’s been so much loss in the last year. Last night we called the names of those we love and said this karakia -
E tū Pōhutukawa e
Te kaikawe i ngā mate o te tau
Haere rā koutou ki te uma o ranginui
Haere ki te kete nui a tāne
Koia rā! Kua whetūrangitia koutou! Aroha mai! Aroha mai!
Behold Pōhutukawa
Who carries the dead of the year
Onward the departed to the chest of the sky
Onward into the milky way
Indeed! You have become stars! So loved! So loved!
We make wishes to Hiwa-i-te-rangi - the star that represents the future. We have soup in honour of Tupu-ā-rangi and Tupu-ā-nuku - the stars for kai above and below. We try to get in a beach walk to honour Waitā, the star for the ocean. And to the stream for Waitī the star for fresh water. We don’t really do anything for Ururangi and Waipunā-ā-rangi because it’s always windy and rainy at this time of year in Te Whanganui-a-Tara lol.
We usually join a community event as well, to mark the beginning of Matariki. And we do a kai shop and donate it to the food bank.
Every whānau ‘does’ Matariki different and there’s no one way to ‘do’ it. This is just the traditions we have rolled into.
I’d love to know what you do - what traditions you’re starting in your whānau…
Weave stars with your kids (we don’t do this activity because I find it infuriating lol)
What I’m reading:
I bought Shaneel Lal’s book One of Them and I can’t put it down. I’m a huge admirer of their astonishing activism. For such a young person, to have achieved so much change - I really hope lots of people buy their book. So many folks have learned so much from Shaneel’s unpaid labour. I feel for them when shit like this happens - the lows are so low, despite the highs. You can order One of Them from all good bookstores. I am going to write a review when I finish.
Threads is a billionaire’s landgrab built on false hope - I liked this by Anna Rawiti-Connell. It was humbling because I’ve been like “wtf are people signing up to threads?”
I Tried to Forget My Whole Life. I’m Glad I Failed. - The hindsight of an adulthood autism diagnosis.
The Singing Glaciers of Svalbard
In the Glimmer - The good witches of Pennsylvania
Greta Gerwig’s ‘Barbie’ Dream Job
Moving past the Pākehā backlash
What I’m watching:
Whose responsibility is it to teach kids about sex? - I really love Janaye.
I’m enjoying Double Parked on TV3. Not much else has kept my attention TBH. Not much good TV on at the moment. I’d love to know what you’re watching.
I also can’t stop watching the food diaries of rich people. They eat things I’ve never even heard of.
What I’m listening to:
OK so the podcasts I’m listening to right now I think I’ve mentioned:
The Boy in the Water - So grim but something happened to that little boy.
The Troubles - Shocked that the IRA nearly killed Margaret Thatcher?
Disaster Trolls - Trying to work out why people believe False Flag conspiracy theories seems like a lost cause but still…
Would love to hear what you’re listening to!
Finally, I’d like to leave you with a poem from my friend Paula.
Maybe if I change enough laws and conventions that keep the earth turning,
we can be us again.
I change the development of Arabic numerals
so that 3+3=1.
I make “hello” mean “yes”
and “goodbye” mean “I’m sorry”.
I move penguins to the North Pole
and polar bears to the South Pole.
I convince fruit to turn to flowers
to turn to buds to turn to possibilities.
I rewrite history so that the Vikings won at Stamford Bridge
and we speak Norse (even though you and I aren’t speaking).
I make dirt white, water pink
and grass grey.
I tear up the Zeroth Law of Thermodynamics,
throwing it out the window so that it can fall up to the sky.
Gravity is pointless
and no one really cares about thermodynamics anyway.
What are you doing over this Matariki long weekend? What are you watching? Listening to? Reading?
Ngā mihi o Matariki, te tau hou Māori x All my love Emily x
I got up around dawn this morning but only to bring in the basket of washing I took off the line yesterday about 3:30pm and then left outside the back door and then remembered about at 5:40 am. Also to do the pee I should've done the night before.
Not really into attempting to create traditions for my family after my one attempt to failed badly. I was attempting write a kind of 'snapshot of you' or 'summary of the past year' into birthday cards for my first child each year. But I didn't get to his first birthday one until he was almost 2, so that was a sham, and then same happened with the 3rd birthday, doing it months in arrears, based on my photos and videos, and brief notes typed in a Google doc, rather than memory. It became such a chore that I had to abandon it in embarrassment. Yet to decide if I keep them or destroy them and pretend they never happened.
Traditions seem like too much of a commitment.
Watching Double Parked and Deadloch has reignited my crush on Madeleine Sami. Deadloch has so excited about our trip to Tasmania next week!