FNC - Mānawatia a Matariki
Friday Night Chats Free For All
Welcome to Friday Night Chats! It has been a rough week here. But we made it to Friday and it’s a public holiday for some of you so that’s something to celebrate. If you’re a paid subscriber you’ll know that Friday Night Chats is a cool thing you get every Friday. Here we discuss all sorts of things and share links to interesting (or batsh*t) articles, we share what books we are reading and what we are watching on TV and at the movies, we share podcast recommendations and we do unhinged polls.
In the spirit of Matariki I’m opening up Friday Night Chats AKA FNC to everyone - and I hope you like it and consider becoming a paid subscriber so I can keep doing this mahi. Let’s go!
We have had a lot of enforced family time this week - what with the vomiting and all - and so we are already all Matariki’d up in this whare.
My husband always makes soup over Matariki - the dates change every year obviously. So, we tend to just do ‘when we can see Te Huihui o Matariki’ (the cluster of stars of Matariki) or like whenever we can.
‘Whenever we can’ this year will be after we are over this bug. I have however been wishing hard on Hiwa-i-te-rangi (the wishing star) even though we can’t see her. Wishing for liberation for Palestine, wishing for the war monsters of the world to end their crusades, wishing for my son’s blood glucose levels to stay in range, wishing for health and happiness for everyone, wishing for Pedro Pascal to kiss me on the forehead and tell me I’m pretty - you know the usual.
Soon, we say the names of the people we love and have lost to Pōhutukawa - the star of rembrance. There’s been so much loss in the world. When the time comes we will call the names of those we love and say this karakia -
E tū Pōhutukawa e
Te kaikawe i ngā mate o te tau
Haere rā koutou ki te uma o ranginui
Haere ki te kete nui a tāne
Koia rā! Kua whetūrangitia koutou! Aroha mai! Aroha mai!
Behold Pōhutukawa
Who carries the dead of the year
Onward the departed to the chest of the sky
Onward into the milky way
Indeed! You have become stars! So loved! So loved!
Matariki for me is a life-affirming time. It also reinforces my commitment to service in my community. I’ve been re-reading Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein as a comfort read and every time I read this line it’s at a time when I need to read it:
Life, although it may only be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it.
I don’t quite think life is only anguish but I feel like many of us have felt a lot this year (and last year and the year before) that human life is not being valued. We are not seeing how important we each are to the world - in the ‘save one life, save the world’ kind of way.
Defending life - through speaking up, standing up, protest, protection - it matters so much. Matariki is a time to consider how precious life is.
So, I know very well how busy weekends can be, but I hope we can all take some time to reflect on where we are and where we want to be - as families, as communities and as human beings…
What I’m reading:
I am continuing to be useless in regards to reading books. I was doing so well!
Anyway, here are some things I read online:
Welcome to Bonnie Blue’s Britain (pay-walled but if you create an account you can read it free).
“…porn has merged back into people’s everyday media consumption, just as it did in the days when British tabloids used to run news from Westminster opposite pictures of naked women. Discourse has returned to the 1980s, when the Sun would happily splash outrageous headlines, such as “Freddie Starr ate my hamster”, without bothering to question precisely how true it was. Did Ms Blue really sleep with 1,057 men? Did Freddie Starr eat a hamster? Does it matter?”
How to Win a Fight - These days it feels like the next fight is always just around the corner. What matters is picking your battles—and knowing how to win.
This interactive box of fantastic articles and opinion pieces and cool stuff will keep you entertained for some time and also inspire you to keep up the good fight.
The boy who came back: the near-death, and changed life, of my son Max
This is such a beautiful piece but it will be particularly harrowing for parents who have had a child in ICU. But it’s also probably the most relatable thing I’ve read in my life - there were so many bits from it that I wanted to share with you that I just stopped cutting and pasting and figured I’d just say - you should read this.
From the “warped, concentric taxonomy” of the hospital ward, to the intense grief/jealousy/overwhelming whatever of seeing a child your child’s age do what your child may never do to this line which will feel so accurate to any parent of a child with a neurological disability - “When I watch him using his Eyegaze with such cheerful skill, I get so carbonated with pride that I feel like I’m having a panic attack”.
It’s a very self-aware and powerful piece is what I’m saying…
Never Meet Your Heroes'... Wives via
I avoided the first article about Alex a trans autistic teenager who died alone for the same reason that probably many parents of autistic kids in food therapy did. But I’m grateful for
’s reporting on it and saddened by RNZ’s commitment to using a TERF journalist for every trans-adjacent story. The Life and Death of Alex - CW: Eating disorders, transphobia, starvation. See: Resources & Support For Trans Teens.I think the real story here is that Alex would have had little to no support for his eating disorder. For many children and young people, eating disorders (especially those that are rare like Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder ARFID) are not treated until they’re an emergency. Related: Compulsion vs building trust: The challenges of treating disordered eating.
Also great on Webworm is - The Dread of Nuclear Chaos and Danger Is Literally Their Middle Name.
On E-Tangata - “When I die, I want to make sure that when my ancestors say to me: ‘Kia ora, nau mai, haere mai,’ I won’t say to them: ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t speak te reo.’” — Witi Ihimaera, on learning te reo at 80.
‘I think we brought the wrong one home’: one mother’s search to find her lost son
What I’m watching:
I haven’t watched much this week - but I have big TV watching plans for this weekend.
My favourite The Buccaneers returns for season two to Apple+. I agree with this review: The Buccaneers review – enormous fun for Bridgerton fans. It’s based on the unfinished novel of the same name by Edith Wharton The Age of Innocence. The soundtrack for season 1 & 2 is sooo good.
I have started We Were Liars (pirate if you can so Bezos doesn’t get your money) it’s your usual YA fare, but pretty good for a fluff watch.
I am going to try The Waterfront on Netflix.
And look, I’m not going to pretend I don’t love trash, I’m going to watch Sherri Papini: Caught In The Lie as well.
A few weeks ago my husband told me that Naked Gun was being remade with Liam Neeson and I insisted that it wasn’t. And he said he’d seen the trailer and I told him the trailer was AI. I had not seen the trailer but I was so sure they would not remake Naked Gun.
Anyway, they’re remaking Naked Gun.
When I was a kid I was so into Naked Gun, Hot Shots, and Space Balls. I have never returned to them because obviously they would not have held up well. I mean they definitely haven’t because Hot Shots had Charlie Sheen in it. But there was this one scene in Naked Gun I remember where the camera pans up a woman’s body (I know) and you see her knees and then it goes up further and you see another set of knees and then another set.
I’m sorry but when I saw that as a child it was literally the funniest thing I’d ever seen and to this day just the idea of it makes me laugh. My sense of humour is either pitch black or dad jokes.
I talked to my husband about it and he said it’s Naked Gun 33 1/3 so I looked up the trailer to see how bad it had aged and to see if I could find a clip for you - And WOW. I cannot share anything 😮💨
It has OJ Simpson in it! Also Anna Nicole Smith tho (RIP).
Still, I am so sorry to say it but within the first seconds of the trailer for the remake I laughed - I am just very simple, what can I say? But also PAMELA!!! 😍
They should not remake Naked Gun but I will see it.
The Springsteen biopic trailer is up. Oh boy, this is not going to help me with my crush on The Guy From The Bear. I mean I develop a crush on any men who look like they come from down in the valley and work construction for the Johnstown Company. Bad news for union girls + gays.
What I’m listening to:
Eddie is listening to the audio book of The Whale Rider and he’s needing lots of cuddles and supervision because he’s sick so that means I’m listening to it as well. And gosh, Witi Ihimaera is an astounding writer.
I am listening to Shark Heart Emily Habick’s debut novel. It’s about a man who turns into a Great White Shark (literally). It’s really beautiful and so so compelling.
And of course, lots of Kneecap. Free Mo Chara!
Also I love this Instagram and love listening to and watching these reels:
What are you listening to? Reading? Watching?
Want to know more about Matariki? How to celebrate Matariki if you never have before!
I hope you have a lovely weekend. See you next week. Emily x
DON’T FORGET: Submissions on the Regulatory Standards Bill are due Monday 1PM. Need help with your submission? I got you. Please put in a submission - it doesn’t take long!
Also look who came home!!
Yay, welcome back Bruce! Cats are lovely to have around, especially on these cold winter evenings (although one of ours is currently on my lap and farting up a storm, so it can be a mixed blessing at times).
Mānawatia a Matariki to you and all FNC-ers.
I've just finished reading 1985 by Dominic Hoey. I'm a big fan from way back and have never understood why his books never get mentioned in any local shout outs and awards. His writing is very raw and he draws such intimate pictures of being poor, other, and children of poor/other. I find it uncomfortably confronting at times but that's what I love about his writing.