How's that Coalition of Chaos going?

I thought businessmen were meant to be good at negotiating lol

In a move absolutely nobody could have seen coming - it turns out a former CEO who is really just a puppet controlled by landlords plus a race baiting twerker willing to sell his soul for five minutes on TV plus a power hungry TAB addict born in 1612 does not equal the stability our country needs!

Yesterday, the former CEO said the three unwise men had finished their dick waving and finally agreed on policy. Alas, he was wrong, something we’re all going to have to get used to over the next three years until he resigns before the next election.

The race baiting twerker clarified the situation by saying:

“I can understand Chris’s enthusiasm, but I just suspect he’s had one too many Weet-Bix”.

And yes, the same man who said that could be our next Deputy Prime Minister.

It’s usually hard to criticise a government before it has even been formed but this one is making it mighty easy. It does make you wonder what will happen next. It feels as if there are many ways this could all go but I can’t help but think it’s heading all towards one place: The wannabe PM is going to melt down and agree to anything the weasel and the fossil ask for because he’s realised you can’t negotiate with imbeciles.

The person with the least power in this gruesome threesome is Old Mate Grabaseat. He’s concerned about optics while his right and umm other right leg are only concerned with power.

Once he bends the knee for them, what happens then? It feels like it could go two ways:

A. He resents the weasel and fossil for making him look like an ineffectual leader before he even became a leader and thus spends the next three years pushing back against every policy change they try to make. And the NACTFIRST government fails abysmally.

B. He can’t control the weasel and fossil and they make him look like even more of an ineffectual leader than he is, and over the next three years we will watch two men (Dino Peters will disappear back to the pub after a few months - he’s workshy) argue over every policy. And the NACTFIRST government fails abysmally.

Given there’s also the possibility a NACTFIRST government will fail abysmally simply because it’s made up of abysmal failures, it’s not going to make too much of a difference whether it’s A or B.

So, is this a bad thing for those of us who were going to be most impacted by NACTFIRST policies? It’s obviously far too soon to tell. But there’s a level of schadenfreude here that I think we should enjoy before it all goes to Hell.

And while we’re sitting back and watching the worst circle jerk in history, we can consider what our community needs are leading up to Christmas. And turn the ineptitude of our so-called leaders into some inspiration to serve others. Because God knows they won’t be serving anyone but themselves.

So with that in mind, here’s The Coalition of Chaos Christmas package:

Loathe Luxon?

• Buy some Renters United merch as a Christmas gift to show you’re against National’s plans to remove renter rights.

• For the roughly 180,000 families in Aotearoa where parents are without work and who need welfare to survive, National’s election promises will deliver nothing as they prioritise huge tax cuts to landlords. So, consider giving a gift for Shoebox Christmas or sponsor a New Zealand child this Christmas.

• Climate change isn’t a priority of National. So, consider joining a group like Fridays for Future or 350 Org or Generation Zero New Zealand or Climate Club or Restore Passenger Rail as part of your New Year plans.

Sink Seymour!

• As we all know David Seymour wants a referendum on “co-governance” and he wants this Government to “pass legislation defining the Principles of the Treaty”. It’s absolutely crucial to be vigilant and call out racism and defend Ti Tiriti when we have race baiting in Parliament. Here’s a guide to having safe and productive conversations about racism. Here are Six ways to call out racism and bigotry when you see it. One in three complaints to the New Zealand Human Rights Commission are about racial discrimination. ACT wants to dismantle the Human Rights Commission. Go figure.

• Earlier this year David Seymour and a host of desperate and sad Twitter people went after national treasure Tusiata Avia, unleashing a landslide of hate on her. It had an enormous impact on her and she’s now started a Substack to support her writing. Please consider supporting it.

• Winston Peters once said “David Seymour reminds me of a chihuahua at the front gate barking at every cat, human being or fellow dog that passes by”. For as little as as $5 a week, you can sponsor a puppy and help to raise a life-changing Assistance Dog. What a great Christmas present!

Push Peters!

• Winston Peters loves misinformation. Remember how he spread misinformation about the mosque attack? Supporting journalists who will call out politicians for lying is more important than ever - Consider becoming a member of The Spinoff or supporting a writer on Substack.

• I’m pretty sure one of the only policies New Zealand First has is a weird transphobic one around policing who uses what toilet. Donate to Outline’s Transgender Peer Support Service. Or jump on Givealittle and chuck some dollars toward someone’s gender affirming surgery.

The Government won’t save us. We have to save us. So let’s do what we can, when we can. And as they fight it out and puff up their chests - we will keep doing what we’ve always been doing: Getting on with it.