Meditations to get you through the week
Who needs a rest? And it’s only Monday! How about some meditations to get you through the week? I hope at least one of these brings you a bit of joy and a bit of calm.
You are a half blind seal bathing on the beach along the Whangaparāoa peninsula. You are large and round and perfect. Growing crowds watch you in awe. You listen as they coo and gasp in wonder at your fat belly. It is full of fish or whatever seals eat. You are happy. Your only job is to lie on this beach and bring joy to onlookers who will hold the memory of you through generations. In years to come, they will walk one day with a friend or a grandchild and point to the spot where you once bathed and say “I saw a fur seal here once”. And they will smile as they remember. And this is your sweet and lovely legacy.
You are sitting on a porch that creaks ever so slightly as you lean back into your rocking chair. A blanket, knitted by your beloved grandmother, covers your legs. On your feet are soft slippers and just by them your elderly dog snoozes. It is pouring with rain but you are dry. You’re looking out at the flowers in your garden bed. Everything smells like deep earth, like beautiful things growing. Somehow with each drop of rain the scent of something new is carried - is that gardenia? Hyacinth? Lavender? You can hear the laughter of the children next door as they dance in the rain. You can hear the soft snores of your dear dog. You can see the steam from your mug of tea in your hand. There is nowhere you need to be, nothing you need to do. You are warm, dry, safe, and content. Growth is all around you, the world is continuing gently in your presence and it requires absolutely nothing from you.
You are twelve and tomorrow you will be 13. You want to stay up until midnight. Tonight feels important - soon you will be a teenager. You don’t know what it will be like. You’re excited but scared too. You look at the clock every few minutes and wonder how you’ll stay awake. You close your eyes briefly but before you know it you succumb to sleep. In the morning you leap out of bed and find your parents upstairs. You smell pancakes and there’s a tub of ice cream and golden syrup, lemon juice and a bowl of white sugar next to it. You see a box wrapped beautifully on the table. You hug your parents and they encourage you to open your present. You rush toward it. As you open it your eyes fill with tears. It’s exactly what you wanted.
You are a Japanese Spider Crab. You live on the southern coasts of the Japanese island of Honshū. You have the greatest leg span of any known arthropod, reaching up to 3.7 m from claw to claw - this makes you feel proud. You weigh 18kg which also makes you feel proud. Despite your ferocious appearance you have a gentle disposition. Really, the only thing you feel is pride. You are proud to be a Japanese Spider Crab. You are proud to have long crab legs and you are proud to be hefty. You are proud of your wife crab who has just laid 1.5 million eggs. Life is good.
You are sitting on a beach digging your toes in the sand. The sun warms your shoulders and neck but you don’t feel too hot. You can see your children playing along the shallows with their grandparents. They squeal with delight as little waves lap at their ankles. The e-book you are reading includes erotic passages so horrifyingly vulgar that if anyone saw them they’d think you were a freak of nature. But nobody can see what you’re reading, nobody knows the utter filth that you’re consuming. It’s just you and your queer polyamorous Amish wolfpack double-genital Mpreg shifter monster porn book.
“Excuse me?” a voice says. It’s a waiter from the resort. They ask if you if you’d like a mojito. You say yes and tip them. They smile and return to the resort where they’re paid above living wage - enough to feed and house their families but also to vacation once a year too - have multiple breaks, and work only short days. You return to your book.
It is 1834. You are a formless life substance. Felix Dujardin, a French biologist, has just discovered you. He is elated. “Ah ouais quand même!” he says. “I will name you sarcode!” he says. You are the protoplasm or gelatinous material that forms the bodies of some of the lower forms of animal life - but no matter. You are crucially important and you have made this little French biologist very happy. Well done.
You look at the Lotto ticket again. It can’t be right. You check the numbers again. Surely…surely not? You call your partner and then hang up. This is silly, you’ll wait until they get home. It’s only an hour. You sit down and then stand up again before sitting down again. You pick up the phone then put it down again. You Google: “How do you know if you’ve won Lotto?”. Google tells you to go the supermarket to check the ticket. You are in walking distance to your local New World and you know a walk would do you good. You grab a coat and head out, holding your ticket tightly in your pocket. When you get to the New World you hand over your ticket without saying anything. Your hands are clammy. The bored New World worker suddenly gasps. She looks at you, her eyes shining bright with a smile wide enough to show teeth. “You’re a winner!” she shrieks but then clamps her hand over her mouth. “Sorry! Sorry! But! You’ve just won $20 million!” She encourages you to write your name and address on the back of the ticket and her voice becomes a hum as she explains what you should do next. All you are thinking about is your dear friend who has been so afraid she will miss a mortgage repayment after being made redundant. You will pay off her mortgage. You know that much. You will help all of the people you love.
You’re on a work break. You rush out to grab a sandwich since you left your lunch at home. You head towards your local cafe at a brisk pace only to be cut off by a man in a suit wearing nasty aftershave. You look up and recognise him as deputy prime minister David Seymour. He pushes past you and races ahead. He walks directly into the glass door of the cafe, his face leaving a mark in the glass. It is very funny. You laugh and laugh as he rubs his forehead. A Gen Z kid wearing Ed Hardy has captured it on their iphone. They’re already mixing it with the “brother ewww” audio. What a good day.
As you leave the club you laugh into the night. What was meant to be just dinner with long beloved friends turned into a night of dancing with new friends. You close your eyes to hold onto the moment, just minutes ago you were on the dance floor, arms reaching out to others, singing every word as loud as you can like you’re 15 again, sweat dripping down your back. And now you’re heading home with the music still beating in your chest and a smile on your face that you can’t wipe away. When you get home you wipe off your make-up and remove your earrings. You kick off your shoes and shimmy out of your dress. You grab your phone and search Spotify for your favourite song and you begin to dance into your room. You feel free, untethered. You turn the music up louder. You will decide when to sleep tonight and you will decide when you’ll wake.
You are a dog. You don’t know what kind. You just know that today is the day you get your family. You’ve heard the nice lady say so. You know you’re in a shelter. You have been waiting for your forever home for a while now. But you’re patient. You know soon you’ll find your family. And when you do you’ll be ready.
You have a heart so big. You love your family even though you haven’t met them yet. You know you’ll be a good dog. Each time a family comes through they smile at you and you stand tall and wag your tail. You sometimes run around in circles to show them you’ll be a good choice - you’re fit, you can keep up with an active family. If it’s just an older couple you put your head down low, you try to show you’re good at being a quiet dog.
And then the day comes - a little boy stops in front of your cage and you know this is it. Your heart beats fast. This is your boy. This is your family. He bends down and presses his nose toward you and you meet him. You have always wanted a family.
“Hi little guy” the boy says. His brother kneels beside him and you bark once to show you know what they know. “Looks like we’ve been chosen” a voice says. The cage door opens and you bound into the arms of the boys.
They kiss your head and rub your ears and you feel overwhelmed - this is what you’ve always wanted. This is love. This is family.
Need more meditations? Try here. Or here. Or here. I hope you have a gentle week.
Just imagining David Seymour walking into a door has already improved my week
Husband wants to know why I’m crying. Told him I was crying over a meditation about a dog and he just shook his head and walked off 😁