Oh no, Emily is Sick!

Here's an update on why things have been a bit quiet

Kia ora! This is not Emily, it’s Tam, one of Em’s group chat girlies. 

Emily is currently indisposed - it turns out that [redacted for her medical privacy until she can tell you the story herself] and she’s been in hospital since Thursday. Those of you checking her Insta stories will have seen her posts of the constant beeping. She’s stable and we’re confident that she’ll be fine eventually, but it's still pretty serious and the doctors are talking about surgery (or surgeries, multiple) plus recovery time measured in weeks or months. The doctors have also given her a LOT of drugs for the pain which means she’s pretty loopy and her messages in chat are full of typos.

Image: all images on this post are from the tumblr memes folder on my phone lol

huge mood every day

Emily is pretty miserable about this whole thing for a bunch of reasons. She’s missing her kids and her husband a lot. There’s the aforementioned beeps and alarms going off all hours of the day and night, her ward has the obligatory racist Boomers in it who insist on arguing with the nurses, and most sadly of all, she’s nil by mouth. Today Em asked if she could have a hot chocolate but was told no and offered ice chips instead “as a treat”. Ice chips! Not a treat! 

everyone deserves a little treat, especially Emily

Emily is also especially miserable because she misses her lovely community here and doesn't have the energy or coherence to write a proper update. She loves you all so much and is so grateful for your support. From our perspective, it’s been such a privilege to watch Emily developing and growing her voice over the last few years. Thank you all for supporting her! She’s a treasure and we love her!

Anyway, for the foreseeable, the Group Chat Collective has taken over management of Em’s newsletter until she’s able to write. Things will probably be quieter and a bit different, but we’re gonna try to keep some content and community going so she can concentrate on getting well rather than stressing about people unsubscribing. 

We’ve also decided to offer a once-off chance to become an Honorary Group Chat Girlie [gender neutral]. All you have to do is donate to Em’s Kofi while she’s in hospital: https://ko-fi.com/emilywrites [edit: fyi donations to Kofi are in American Dollars, not NZ$]

Go there, donate, and once your donation has processed, by the glory of Piss Shark, you will attain Honorary Group Chat Girlie status!* 

Bonus: if you share either this post or Emily’s Kofi on your insta or twitter or fb, Piss Shark will swim into your dreams to give you a lovely piss shark kiss! What a deal!

Piss Shark reigns supreme

Emily might be pissed that I put the donation link into this post because she struggles with asking for help, which is honestly a mood, we’ve all been there, but also sometimes loving someone includes bullying them into accepting help anyway. Please do not donate if you are also struggling at the moment! This call for donations goes out to those of you who can afford to buy namebrand groceries. 

[Vee adds: the day before Emily went into hospital, I had to bully her into un-volunteering as a marshal for the Pōneke trans rights protest, because when I said “cis people it's time to step up” I did not mean Emily, a person who steps up for everyone all the time no matter what. Just saying.]

you are doing GREAT

Anyway, in return for your donations, what content would you like to see? We’ll be revisiting some popular posts of Em’s but we can also offer:

• I went to Sydney Worldpride and now all I want to do is dress like a dickhead, here's an exhaustive list of the dumb stuff I've been tempted to buy

• Styling advice that leans heavy on unhinged sequin aesthetics

• Thinking about fostering kittens? lol you’ll never guess what happened to me

• The takeover of the word ‘unhinged’ in 2023 (see point 2)

• How calling transphobes ‘cunts’ on twitter can be praxis, and other ways to protect your peace

• I moved to Canada and yesterday a raccoon moved into the crow’s nest in the tree outside our apartment, breaking story unfolding as it happens (the crow wants its nest back you guys)

• Living the cottagecore dream: our responsibility to centre and uphold indigenous rights when we Return To Our Linen Apron Cute Overalls Composting Roots

• Pregnancy advice from a doula when you're queer and/or trans: how to protect yourself and tell meddling assholes to fuck off

• Meditations: you're a princess going to a gala, you just met your worst ex and you weren't even in sweatpants, you went op-shopping and found a vintage Prada handbag, the airline upgraded your tickets for that work conference trip and now you're flying business class next to Chloe Sevigny

*Honorary Group Chat Girlie terms and conditions: Emily is aware that I put the Kofi into this post, this is what’s called a joke, please don’t DM her like “omg your group chat girlies aren’t trustworthy”. 

Anyway, the status of HGCG is entirely symbolic. Donating and thereby attaining that status comes with no right of access to the group chat or Emily’s time. It definitely makes you a good cunt tho. Also, fyi, if you unsubscribe while Em’s in hospital, we reserve the right to talk shit about you in said group chat. BUT! If you donate more than fifty bucks you can message us and ask for a meditation of your choice. It's carrot and stick incentives, baybee!

We'll leave the final word to Emily:

“this made me cry so much itsnperfectnn. I love use all and you made my nose bleed. I’m mm love you all so much. It’s v sensory overload in my ward, like shut up I can’t even have broth.”

Inspiring, truly. She's a darling and we mm love her too.