Piers Morgan is mad

Emily Writes Weekly

Piers Morgan is mad again.

Piers Morgan is mad that Jacinda Ardern has cancelled her wedding.

Piers Morgan was not invited to Jacinda Ardern’s wedding. Is that why he is mad?

"New Zealand is also trapped in a perpetual pandemic prison camp," Piers Morgan says. I read this at the library, waiting for my child to choose between an encyclopedia and a dictionary before deciding he would have both. On the way home I will get a coffee from the cafe where they put a little tiny donut on top of my cup.

Piers Morgan is mad that Meghan Markle went on Ellen. Piers Morgan is never not mad at Meghan Markle’s husband.

Piers Morgan is mad about Adele’s new album. And he’s mad she postponed her Las Vegas residency.

Piers Morgan is mad at Ron Weasley’s brother.

Piers is mad at his favourite football team.Piers is mad at the producers of a US talk show for women. He is also mad at Sheryl Underwood, George Lopez, Simone Biles, the BBC Sports Personality of the Year for 2021 and John Cleese, Whoopi Goldberg, Sunny Hostin, Joy Behar and Sara Haines, Ant and Dec, and cricket.

Piers is mad about the Strictly Come Dancing final because the contestants cried.

Piers is mad at Jason Momoa and Lisa Bonet’s divorce statement.

Piers is mad at a big vegan burger. And at almonds and avocados. And at vegans.

Piers is mad about a Queens honour he hasn’t been offered that he says he wouldn’t accept anyway. But he’s mad he hasn’t been honoured.

Piers is mad that “only the Guardian” is allowed to make “knob gags”.

Piers is mad at Joe Biden and he wants to divorce him. He’s mad at people who don’t like Joe Rogan.

Piers is mad at “narcissistic celebrities, hypocritical politicians, virtue-signalling junior members of the Royal family”.

Piers is mad at Gal Godot and the cast of Hamilton.

Piers is mad that people keep sending him a montage of photos of him smiling next to paedophiles.

Piers is mad at Wordle. And motivational social media posts.

Piers is mad at “ladies” who don’t understand “HUMOUR”. And “corporate virtue-signalling”

Piers is mad that midget sweets won’t be called midget sweets anymore.

Piers Morgan is mad every day. Every day he wakes up mad. He is mad all day. Then he sleeps mad.

The energy it must take to be so mad and so wrong all the time…must surely drive him mad.

Mad Piers Morgan.

So mad.

All the time.

While we go to the cafe and get coffee with little donuts on top.

I wear a mask and the little ones wear masks. And we smile with our eyes.

And we hear again about a man who has so, so much. A man who has so little to feel wronged about. A man so wealthy, whose life is so easy. A man who has so much more than others but is never, ever satisfied. A man who can’t be content with what he has. A man who feels he never has enough and it makes him so mad. So, so mad.

And a mother messages me and says she is so exhausted by trying to get a high health needs assessment that she sometimes dreams of going to sleep and never waking up.

And I look for resources to help her. And there’s so few resources. There’s numbers she can call but I don’t know if anyone will answer.

I email someone and they email someone else and we get her some help.

And then there’s another message from another desperate mother.

And I think there are so many things to really be mad about.

And those things never make the news.

And while we try our best to be there for each other and fill these many gaps…Piers Morgan writes another tweet about how he’s just so mad again.

He’s always so mad.