Shocking: Screen time causing gullible journalists
Shocking new research has shown screen time causes an unquestioning media
Shocking, startling, terrifying new research has shown journalists keep falling victim to grifter experts who never seem to cite their sources.
Freeloy The Banana Boy, a neural biological paediatric past life brain thespian trainer, told Emily Writes Weekly that journalists were displaying traits of ‘unskeptical wide-eyed gullibility’ as a result of screen time distracting them from their deadlines.
“They just keep checking their Twitter accounts. It doesn’t leave them with any time to do the most basic research, like if neural biological paediatric past life brain thespian trainers are even real,” the neural biological paediatric past life brain thespian trainer said.
This bombshell arrives as readers complain they are bearing the brunt of journalists’ behavioural issues, and are having to adapt their information gathering methods.
Educational-psychopathy brain tutor Onefrei Semmonar said that common symptoms of gullibility among social-media-addled journos included “seeking out sources who stand to gain financially by inventing new problems for readers.”
“Often they’ll decide — to use an example completely off the top of my head — that screens are bad. Because we know parents are worried about screens, it’s an easy front-page story even if you’re not saying anything helpful. Then they’ll just find someone who will call themselves an expert to say whatever they need them to say. Like that screens cause ‘ADHD-like symptoms’ without going into any of the complexity or caveats implied by that sweeping statement.”
“Some might say, goodness, that is enormously ableist: To whittle down a complex neurotype that more than 280,000 people in Aotearoa have down to ‘short attention span’ or ‘can’t concentrate’. And well, you’d be right,” chuckles Semmonar. “But also, that’s a front-page news story, baby! It’s got it all: A scary title and a baffling ignorance of everything else that might be reducing attention spans, like housing instability, food insecurity, increasing poverty during a cost of living crisis, Covid-19 and Long Covid, climate change, and an unfolding genocide. All those things might be causing warranted anxiety which leads to distraction in young people. But no, it’s the screens. Just the screens”.
Steve Steveson, who has three grown kids, one of which he still talks to, and is therefore an expert on parenting, journalism and media ethics, knows for sure that the decline in journalism is caused by screen addiction.
“Obviously the journalists can’t pay attention. After 30 seconds they look at things. They don’t know how to sit still. Back in my day, we sat still. Back then I bought my five bedroom house in Auckland for a Werther's Original, a cup of tea and one of those old 50 cent coins the size of a truck tyre, we just didn’t have the problems that these journalists have today.”
“That Growing Up NZ study that the government rightly got rid of because it was spitting out highly inconvenient so-called research said one in five young New Zealanders have experienced material hardship by their pre-teen years. Three out of four New Zealand children are moving house at least once before they turn eight which woke snowflakes say is due to rising rents and the inability to own a house and this in turn means they’re often the new kid at school who can’t put down community roots. So I think obviously, the issue is screens.”
Steve’s wife Pat sells toilet seat covers on Facebook Marketplace which makes her a neuroscience educator. She agrees with her husband, as wives must.
“The woke “evidence” would have you believe that hunger affects concentration, memory, mood, and motor skills in children and for almost one in five children in Aotearoa, their household experiences severe to-moderate food insecurity,” she said, hot-glueing a “live, laugh, love” sticker to a toilet cover.
“And so-called statistics show that disabled children and children in households where someone is disabled are more likely to be in poverty. But I saw a meme on a Facebook Group that said if you play the Sesame Street theme backwards it says “Can you tell me how to get ADHD” and that’s the problem. I don’t think it’s anything to do with cutting respite care and supports for parents and refusing to increase the child disability allowance or provide even basic support for parents with disabled children.”
“Or the fact that Stats New Zealand data for the year to June 2023 shows an increase in child poverty rates in two out of three primary measures compared to June 2022.”
“Now they say one-in-eight children, or 143,700, children, are living in material hardship compared to 120,300 in June 2022. Though probably Statistics New Zealand has that Woke Mind Virus”.
Pat says that what screen addicts really need is benefit sanctions — and a little something else besides.
“Some ‘experts’ say that benefit sanctions most affect mothers parenting without support, but you know what I reckon? What would instantly solve all of these problems is one of my toilet seat covers,” the owner of patstoiletseatcovers.co.nz said.
Very sad that the Government has stopped funding the Growing Up in NZ study, particularly as they promised last year to keep it going. It is providing useful data about young people that they don't want to know.
I’m crying… so gooooood Emily!
Back then I bought my five bedroom house in Auckland for a Werther's Original, a cup of tea and one of those old 50 cent coins the size of a truck tyre, we just didn’t have the problems that these journalists have today.”