The hysteria over drag queen story time isn't about kids - it's just a tired scam
A tale as old as time....
Content warning: Transphobia, homophobia and rape and death threats.
Seven years ago, I took my son to listen to two of Wellington's wonderful Drag Queens read a few kids books. The ‘Drag Queen Story Time’ was held in the children’s section on the ground floor of the old Wellington Library. My child had a blast. He wore his space man suit and a sequinned cape but to be fair, he probably would have worn it no matter who was reading. I caught up with some mates. It was great. I barely remember it to be honest.
It was just a nice time.
There was no outcry because Destiny Church was busy with other things in 2017, Brian and Hannah Tamaki were moving into their new resort home and two of Destiny Church's 13 charities were facing deregistration because they had not filed their financial returns.
The rage industry also wasn’t quite so full on way back then. I mean, Brian Tamaki had said in 2016, that gay people caused the Christchurch earthquake and everyone had just rolled their eyes.
Sadly, the pandemic happened and in the lock-down period many people fully lost it - they became convinced vaccinations were full of Hillary Clinton’s bathwater and the blood of Tom Hanks or something…2020 was a confusing time. It’s also been a hugely profitable time for the Tamakis and other shock jocks.
They have realised money can be made when you work people into a frenzy of fear and loathing.
When people are afraid they’re very easy to manipulate.
For example, if you’re worried about the cost of living and your “church” leader is screaming at you to give his family more money so they can buy another Tesla - of course you’re going to be angry. But who can you be angry at?
Nobody wants to admit they’ve been swindled by their church, especially when their church often feels like the only family they have. Even if it’s an abusive family that’s sending them broke, it’s still the only thing they have.
Fundamentalist and profit-seeking ‘prosperity’ churches work like abusive relationships - they isolate you from your family so you’re fully reliant on them.
Tamaki, like the shock jocks on alt-right media platforms, has given a vulnerable group of people a totally blameless group of people to blame for the anger, fear, and loneliness they feel. He (and others like him) encourage the anger and heighten the fear. He stops his followers pointing at him by saying ‘don’t look at me with my house made from the wreckage of your dreams - look over there at that drag queen, who is going to steal your children and turn them trans!’.
Trans people are enemy number one for Tamaki and the shock jocks mainly because they’ve seen the success overseas other transphobes have had in making hating trans folks a key part of their identity.
They have imported all of the ready made bullshit from the UK and US - just like they did with anti-mask and vaccine rhetoric in 2020.
That’s why you’re suddenly seeing full-on hysteria about drag story time despite the fact that drag story time isn’t new.
Dressing up to read kids books is not new. We’ve had it forever. It is hysterical to believe otherwise.
And the hysteria is terrifying. I’ve been on the receiving end of what the lovely drag king involved in Thursday’s drag story time is facing. Let me tell you, Destiny Church hate is a different kind of hate. It’s bloody scary.
I’ve been told I deserve to be raped quite a few times, but it was only after I wrote about Hannah Tamaki’s attempt at being on Dancing with the Stars that I felt genuinely afraid for my life.
We had to get security cameras and install a gate because we were so afraid of being violently attacked due to countless death threats being sent my way. I contacted Police who didn’t care and said it’s unlikely one of these men would rape me in front of my children before beheading me, but that I should give them a ring if it does happen.
I couldn’t sleep for weeks. I had my address posted across the internet and photos taken of me walking my dog posted. I think the drag king (who I’m too scared to even name here in case it makes it worse for them), is likely getting tenfold what I got.
All because they are doing a story time at a library. An actor and dancer is doing a story time at a library. That’s all.
So let’s talk about what your child will learn at Drag Story time eh? Really, truly, what will they learn?
Well, in my experience of going to story time at the library a thousand times when my kids were young - I’d say they’ll probably sit for a few minutes then wander around being menaces, maybe they’ll eat a bit of a library book. They’ll be mesmerised by the beautiful queen or king in front of them, in the same way that they would be a princess or a clown or any great performer. The novelty of someone looking so vibrant and beautiful and engaging will keep them in their spot for longer than if it was just the Librarian (sorry librarian, I do think you’re beautiful and vibrant and engaging).
They’ll probably tip over their mum’s coffee. And she’ll feel awful because she wasn’t meant to bring a coffee to the library. And they might fall asleep, or spit out a bit of apple onto the floor.
They’ll wiggle on laps. They might whack another kid accidentally or accidentally on purpose. They might shit their pants (much like the protesters outside).
Because a story time with someone in drag is just a fun little trip out for a toddler. That’s all. It’s no different to seeing a woman dressed up as a fairy read a book. Or a man dressed up as Dorothy the Dinosaur.
The only people who are freaked out by it are the people who are taught to be freaked out by everything.
Why it matters, why we should have this story-time, is because for one child there, this might be their first time meeting with someone from one of the most inclusive and beautiful communities you could ever have the good fortune of being part of.
I am very lucky to have many friends who are trans and a few friends who are drag kings and queens who are cisgender (not trans) and a few who are drag kings and queens who are trans. I say it like this only because some dorks think trans = queens + kings when gender and gender expression are different things.
Anyway, back to my mates - They’re in my life because I love them, not so they can “teach” my kids anything. But teach they do, because we all learn from each other as we live.
My children have been exposed to one sick idea “pineapple shouldn’t be on pizza” but otherwise, it’s been all about “you should keep playing guitar even if you don’t feel like you’re good at it because it takes time to be good at things” and “wear whatever you want, who cares if you get called an Emo” and “I know your mum thinks she’s cool and that’s embarrassing but you should not make up slang terms to trick her”.
They have also learned: You’re loved. You’re loved on your good days and your bad days and your in-between days. You don’t have to earn love. You just are loved. You’re loved if you wear the same tee shirt for three days and it really needs a wash. You’re loved if you wear sky-high heels or second-hand shoes that make you look like a rock climber.
My kids have learned that we look after each other. We care about each other. And how you love and look after and care about someone isn’t based on their gender. My kids have learned that they’re free - free to try things out in life. To be who they really are without fundamentalism and societal norms pushing them to be smaller, to fit in increasingly ill-fitting boxes policed by hatred.
I feel lucky every day to have people in my community who have chosen to help me be the best parent I can be. To show a way of living that is based on authenticity not shame.
Only time will tell how long we’re stuck in this spiral of rage that fundamentalist Christians and the conservative right are trying to force on us. As long as it’s profitable and getting them on news channels and getting rage clicks they’ll keep doing it…
All I can think to say is, we have to make sure we’re being as loud as we possibly can be against this hatred. We need to show up and speak up. Otherwise it’s just the loudest and cruellest and most hateful voices that are drowning out all of the joy.
And isn’t that just awful?
If you’d like to support the King who is currently facing horrendous abuse you can buy a ‘be there in spirit’ ticket to one of their shows. Or you can give them koha here. You can also donate to OutLine Aotearoa in Brian Tamaki’s name if you want! If you’re free this Thursday, please go along to protect the families going to drag story time. Don’t engage with the protesters, that’s what they want. Just show your support and if you have kids, take them along to chase them around the library while you try to listen to a nice story about having empathy for others or something.
Thanks for this Emily. A beautiful post. Oddly (maybe not so odd) in spite of the sad content it actually made me feel happy and loving. And I laughed about the pineapple on a pizza and the general activities of children during story time - I remember all of these. You managed to paint a beautiful portrait of what kindness and goodness is available in society if we just open our eyes and hearts.
Thanks Emily, brilliant summary of the pros of such events. I've bought an "in spirit" ticket.
During the last election I went to a campaign meeting where a New Conservatives candidate was very exercised about the "sexualisation of young children". He said it many times, lisping out the "sex" bit and licking his lips each time. It was disturbing to say the least seeing their fixation on an non-existant problem. Even worse when I found they are a teacher.
While some opponents to such innocent activities like Drag Readings are simply easily led or subject to low information, it worries me they also include those with very mixed up ideas on sex, gender and social order. It's those people who feel dangerous to me.
Finally - a friend who is a librarian tells me they are getting all sorts of flack even if they've never hosted such an event! Libraries are apparently bad places. They have books, books have ideas, children visit libraries, they might get ideas. Where will it end?