You can hear him in his dancing

For all the non speaking kids and their parents

I’m endlessly grateful for paid subscribers, especially now when money is tight. Here’s a little piece about neurodivergence and disability and looking at the world differently that I wrote when my littlest one was smaller. I hope you like it. And thanks for supporting our whānau.

Content warning for ableism.

I remember the first time someone said: “what’s wrong with your son”. I think my face, turning white, then splotchy red with anger, told him that what he’d said was not the right thing to say.

“I just mean…” he said, ignoring my body language, shoulders high, already carrying me away from him. “Why does he make that noise? How old is he?”

“How old is he?” I hate that question. There’s no good answer. If I say his age he’ll be too old to be doing that or too young to be doing this…

And the ‘helpful’ advice will begin, relentless: “Well, at that age, they don’t need to be able to do that!” or “Wow, I couldn’t handle my kid doing that, I would have put a stop to it”.

And it’s all so neurotypical. At what age will your child be neurotypical.