Oh, I have So Many Thoughts about this! Awesome piece, Emily. I am endlessly astonished by the vileness of the men who harass you for your work. Like, it blows my mind that anybody would think to do and say those things. Regarding getting older (I’m 46), I’ve definitely noticed a significant drop in sexualised attention on the rare occasion that I’m out in a bar without my husband, and I’m so thankful for it (and - strangely and unexpectedly - I’ve actually found that I seem to get taken MORE seriously in a professional context as I get older, which has been a welcome development).
All women who have strong feelings about street harassment (which must surely include all women) should check out Women in Urbanism Aotearoa. The group has a website and a Facebook page, and has done some amazing work to raise awareness of how unsafe public spaces are for women. There is so much that councils could do regarding urban design and public lighting that would help to make spaces safer, and we should all take local government elections very seriously and demand this from our mayors and councillors.
But I totally agree with you, Emily, that there are seemingly intractable socio-cultural factors that lie at the heart of this and so many other problems affecting women - starting from the fact that an awful lot of men barely even seem to regard women as human people who don’t just exist for their gratification.
I read some of the comments on Facebook under The Spinoff post. Admittedly it's a few days after it was posted and I assume the worst comments have been deleted, but there was also some considered and respectful discussion going on. So good when that happens!
Everything you say here is right and valid but not my own experience of Wellington and I'm not entirely sure why. I've never felt invisibly safe and yet I've always since I was 12 walked through these streets and felt safe. Even late at night or in the early morning hours... and yet, I will not let friends walk home alone be they men, women, or genderqueer. (Sorry for using that as a catch-all term but it's the one I learnt was least offensive. If there's a better word please let me know as I'm not aiming to take a stand on that nor offend anyone.) I guess I've always had this "don't mess with me" attitude and my abusers have not been anonymous men on the street. I grew up with Black power in my neighbourhood and their children were my friends and first "love" interests. So I fail to understand the whole gang rhetoric that Conservatives use, my friends' Dads doted upon them, they were well loved. If anything, I have had to work to save my brown friends from the mostly cis male police force on a night out... As for how we make the streets safe so that everyone can feel safe walking them like me? We raise good men. We vote in people who will overhaul our racist and anti-poor systems. We do what you do and speak about it. Highlight it. Thank you for your work. One day I hope all women feel like me and happily trot about our streets at all hours wearing whatever they like. -Christabel
Oh, I have So Many Thoughts about this! Awesome piece, Emily. I am endlessly astonished by the vileness of the men who harass you for your work. Like, it blows my mind that anybody would think to do and say those things. Regarding getting older (I’m 46), I’ve definitely noticed a significant drop in sexualised attention on the rare occasion that I’m out in a bar without my husband, and I’m so thankful for it (and - strangely and unexpectedly - I’ve actually found that I seem to get taken MORE seriously in a professional context as I get older, which has been a welcome development).
All women who have strong feelings about street harassment (which must surely include all women) should check out Women in Urbanism Aotearoa. The group has a website and a Facebook page, and has done some amazing work to raise awareness of how unsafe public spaces are for women. There is so much that councils could do regarding urban design and public lighting that would help to make spaces safer, and we should all take local government elections very seriously and demand this from our mayors and councillors.
But I totally agree with you, Emily, that there are seemingly intractable socio-cultural factors that lie at the heart of this and so many other problems affecting women - starting from the fact that an awful lot of men barely even seem to regard women as human people who don’t just exist for their gratification.
I read some of the comments on Facebook under The Spinoff post. Admittedly it's a few days after it was posted and I assume the worst comments have been deleted, but there was also some considered and respectful discussion going on. So good when that happens!
Excellent piece as ever Emily.
Thank you! Yeah definitely some good discussions! Luckily the most gross stuff was deleted.
So top of mind. Really wanted to share this article my 25 year old wrote - she lives in Berlin. It was published today, too. https://www.artilmagazine.com/post/text-me-when-you-get-home
Dear Emily,
Everything you say here is right and valid but not my own experience of Wellington and I'm not entirely sure why. I've never felt invisibly safe and yet I've always since I was 12 walked through these streets and felt safe. Even late at night or in the early morning hours... and yet, I will not let friends walk home alone be they men, women, or genderqueer. (Sorry for using that as a catch-all term but it's the one I learnt was least offensive. If there's a better word please let me know as I'm not aiming to take a stand on that nor offend anyone.) I guess I've always had this "don't mess with me" attitude and my abusers have not been anonymous men on the street. I grew up with Black power in my neighbourhood and their children were my friends and first "love" interests. So I fail to understand the whole gang rhetoric that Conservatives use, my friends' Dads doted upon them, they were well loved. If anything, I have had to work to save my brown friends from the mostly cis male police force on a night out... As for how we make the streets safe so that everyone can feel safe walking them like me? We raise good men. We vote in people who will overhaul our racist and anti-poor systems. We do what you do and speak about it. Highlight it. Thank you for your work. One day I hope all women feel like me and happily trot about our streets at all hours wearing whatever they like. -Christabel
Oh and I'm hitting 40 this year. Just for context.