I loved this. I mean the subject is horrible but thank you for being a voice of compassion. There's a quote I love from Glennon Doyle that says, "The shortest distance between two people is imagination." When we allow ourselves to give others the gift of imagining their situation, we begin to give the gift of empathy. Xo
You are literally the best human ever and I love what you write.
I hate that social media (and the actual media) use things like this to create division and hatred. When what really needs to happen is that these poor women just need to be wrapped in love and reassured, because all of those voices are just amplifying the very same words in their own heads. And there nothing worse than that constant refrain of 'what if I'd..', "if only I'd...".
Thank you for writing this. You have articulated the unspeakable so well. I agree fear must be behind those cruel comments - I hope the call for compassion is heard x
Thank you Emily. I read what happened and felt physically ill for that mum. I'm a dog behaviourist and trainer, qualified with years of experience....and my own dog bit my child just days away from her first birthday (she is now 6). Luckily for me it wasn't bad and she only required a quick trip to A & E. It was 100% my fault. I should never have left them alone together, she was crawling, and probably grabbed my dog or poked her in the eye. Cassie is a lovely dog, and we still have her and she loves kids. Then 3 months later our other dog left a mark on her face (not a bite but close). Again 100% my fault, our poor dog was injured and in pain, I thought he was shut away in another room, and he wasn't. So you can imagine how much of a failure I felt, I'd failed as a behaviourist, my chosen career, I'd failed my dogs, and I'd failed my child. I was so lucky to have wonderful supportive parents who didn't blame the dogs or me, and took the dogs to live with them for a while. My partner was also wonderful and didn't blame the dogs or me either. They accepted that we all mistakes, and when you are sleep deprived and often stressed with little ones, it's so easy to make mistakes. I cannot imagine how hard it must be for this mother, to be going through the worst thing ever, and then have complete strangers blaming her. My heart goes out to her!
This incident and your wonderfully robust and compassionate response, Emily, moved many of us in the family to tears. Thank you always for what you do and for the courage and thoughtfulness that go into what you write. I don’t use social media because of the risks it poses and the vitriol it engenders, so am unable to reach out to this mother in any way. I just hope she takes some comfort from the knowledge that many, many of us have her back.
You’re a wonderful wise warrior woman Emily . I’ve always sent on your posts to my 2 adult, mother- daughters. Now I shall subscribe to your emails for them both
I saw the headline for this in the newsfeed on my phone. It read something like: family dog mails baby to death when mother “popped” to the toilet. Written like that. “Popped”. Quotation marks. An invitation to say, yeah right. What was she REALLY doing. Quote/unquote “popped” felt like an invitation to disbelieve this woman. Speculate that she was probably off somewhere being irresponsible, eg looking at her phone or smoking meth. I didn’t read the article, that headline said it all - everything that happened and all the shit she’s up for now. It felt like incitement and it’s horrible and unfair.
I may have had a go at the person on FB who said "where were the parents?" It doesn't fucking matter, anything can happen in an instant, she could have been holding the baby and the same thing could have happened.
Thank you for writing this. This could be any one of us. Years ago BC (before children) I worked as a theatre nurse and I vividly recall operating on a young boy who had fallen off his father’s knee when on a ride on mower and gone under the mower - I huffed an puffed and thought it was so neglectful! Fast forward 2 years and my crawling son put his hands on a ragingly hot oven door, which I had opened, to stand up. It was one of the most humbling experiences of my life! ‘There but for the grace of a god go I.’ It takes a second of inattention ... and it cam happen to any of us. Sending much love and healing light to that young woman.
Thank you for voicing compassion. I don’t much spend time on social media but a couple of times I have gone down some rabbit holes that are bloody nasty. There is no point being part of that.....,
Recognising that it could be me is why I always put my bag in the back seat of the car with the kids so I always have to look in the back seat before I leave and lock the car.
My guess is that people are so cruel because if they took a moment to consider it they know that it could absolutely happen to them, maybe not in the exact same scenario but still. Why oh why do they choose that abusive path instead of empathy!? It's just awful.
I loved this. I mean the subject is horrible but thank you for being a voice of compassion. There's a quote I love from Glennon Doyle that says, "The shortest distance between two people is imagination." When we allow ourselves to give others the gift of imagining their situation, we begin to give the gift of empathy. Xo
This.
You are literally the best human ever and I love what you write.
I hate that social media (and the actual media) use things like this to create division and hatred. When what really needs to happen is that these poor women just need to be wrapped in love and reassured, because all of those voices are just amplifying the very same words in their own heads. And there nothing worse than that constant refrain of 'what if I'd..', "if only I'd...".
Thank you for writing.
Thank you for writing this. You have articulated the unspeakable so well. I agree fear must be behind those cruel comments - I hope the call for compassion is heard x
Thank you Emily. I read what happened and felt physically ill for that mum. I'm a dog behaviourist and trainer, qualified with years of experience....and my own dog bit my child just days away from her first birthday (she is now 6). Luckily for me it wasn't bad and she only required a quick trip to A & E. It was 100% my fault. I should never have left them alone together, she was crawling, and probably grabbed my dog or poked her in the eye. Cassie is a lovely dog, and we still have her and she loves kids. Then 3 months later our other dog left a mark on her face (not a bite but close). Again 100% my fault, our poor dog was injured and in pain, I thought he was shut away in another room, and he wasn't. So you can imagine how much of a failure I felt, I'd failed as a behaviourist, my chosen career, I'd failed my dogs, and I'd failed my child. I was so lucky to have wonderful supportive parents who didn't blame the dogs or me, and took the dogs to live with them for a while. My partner was also wonderful and didn't blame the dogs or me either. They accepted that we all mistakes, and when you are sleep deprived and often stressed with little ones, it's so easy to make mistakes. I cannot imagine how hard it must be for this mother, to be going through the worst thing ever, and then have complete strangers blaming her. My heart goes out to her!
This incident and your wonderfully robust and compassionate response, Emily, moved many of us in the family to tears. Thank you always for what you do and for the courage and thoughtfulness that go into what you write. I don’t use social media because of the risks it poses and the vitriol it engenders, so am unable to reach out to this mother in any way. I just hope she takes some comfort from the knowledge that many, many of us have her back.
You’re a wonderful wise warrior woman Emily . I’ve always sent on your posts to my 2 adult, mother- daughters. Now I shall subscribe to your emails for them both
Thankyou again. And AGAIN.
Your little beaming light of hope shines always
Jo
I saw the headline for this in the newsfeed on my phone. It read something like: family dog mails baby to death when mother “popped” to the toilet. Written like that. “Popped”. Quotation marks. An invitation to say, yeah right. What was she REALLY doing. Quote/unquote “popped” felt like an invitation to disbelieve this woman. Speculate that she was probably off somewhere being irresponsible, eg looking at her phone or smoking meth. I didn’t read the article, that headline said it all - everything that happened and all the shit she’s up for now. It felt like incitement and it’s horrible and unfair.
I may have had a go at the person on FB who said "where were the parents?" It doesn't fucking matter, anything can happen in an instant, she could have been holding the baby and the same thing could have happened.
Thank you for writing this. This could be any one of us. Years ago BC (before children) I worked as a theatre nurse and I vividly recall operating on a young boy who had fallen off his father’s knee when on a ride on mower and gone under the mower - I huffed an puffed and thought it was so neglectful! Fast forward 2 years and my crawling son put his hands on a ragingly hot oven door, which I had opened, to stand up. It was one of the most humbling experiences of my life! ‘There but for the grace of a god go I.’ It takes a second of inattention ... and it cam happen to any of us. Sending much love and healing light to that young woman.
Thank you for voicing compassion. I don’t much spend time on social media but a couple of times I have gone down some rabbit holes that are bloody nasty. There is no point being part of that.....,
Recognising that it could be me is why I always put my bag in the back seat of the car with the kids so I always have to look in the back seat before I leave and lock the car.
My guess is that people are so cruel because if they took a moment to consider it they know that it could absolutely happen to them, maybe not in the exact same scenario but still. Why oh why do they choose that abusive path instead of empathy!? It's just awful.
I have thought about that mum many times since I heard about what happened.
Thank you got writing this Emily. As ever you've articulated it so well.
I wish I could give that mum a big hug ❤