FNC - Succession, bad Rogan, and good limericks

Friday Night Chats

It’s Friday Night Chats time! How are you doing? Are you ready for some distraction? Usually, I save FNC for paid subscribers only but I thought I’d open it up this time - so please subscribe if you like it!

Sad news in the Writes whare - Diabetes Camp has been cancelled as it’s too risky with Covid 19 and the doctors and nurses who attend will be needed for Covid 19 patients at the hospital. Eddie is devastated. I just felt like I was watching his little heart break right in front of me.

But the decision makes sense. I feel so sad for all these kids. And I feel sad for the parents too as it is our one break of the year. But nevermind. It can’t be helped.

Do you think it would be safe to take him camping? Camping is probably so expensive this time of year, and probably booked out, and probably people from all over the country…I looked at an air B&B and MY GOD THEY ARE SO EXPENSIVE! Like more than hotels? Anyway, that’s my bitch session done.

Wait one more bitch: HOW EXPENSIVE ARE SCHOOL PHOTOS?

In good news - Parliament has passed the Births, Deaths, Marriages and Relationships Registration Bill, which allows people to change their birth certificates to reflect who they are.

In I don’t know news - Boris Johnson had another baby. I googled “How many children does Boris Johnson have?” and astonishingly people don’t know?? He might have eight children? He might more or less? And the age gap from oldest to youngest is 27 years. He tried to pretend one of them doesn’t exist. I mean - incredible. I can’t help but think of the mothers who contacted me last year when he was reopening schools in the height of the pandemic claiming it was ‘morally’ the right thing to do for their mental health when he’s collecting kids like Pokémon and trying to deny their existence. Which I’m guessing is not good for their mental health. All the best for the happy couple!

In other news - I finally watched Succession, and of course you were all exactly right that it’s amazing. And yes, I’m obsessed. And ALEXANDER SKARSGARD my one true love is in it! Of course I didn’t have a sex dream about Alexander Skarsgard after binge watching until 2am. I had a sex dream about Roman and wanted to burn my eyes.

I’m obsessed with this profile on Jeremy Strong (Kendall) on Succession. You’ve probably seen it but WOW WHAT A BRUTAL PROFILE?! I would literally crawl into a hole in the ground if someone wrote that about me? Also he is friends with Chris Evans? I really love Chris Evans.

Keiran Culkin (Roman) has a very different approach. We must not forget Cousin Greg. Or Shiv Fucking Roy. Or Roman’s dick pic.

I’m very obsessed with the writing on Succession and would love to read a list of insults. Because “You look like a dildo dipped in beard trimmings” is incredible. Also “It was supposed to be choreographed. That was about as choreographed as a dog getting fucked on roller skates.” I MEAN?! “The cunt of Monte Cristo”???

As someone who previously was in the “I don’t get Succession” camp - I can say this very well describes why it’s enjoyable: “The pleasures of Succession comes from the schadenfreude of watching people who really deserve it step on rakes for an hour.”

Anyway, for those not watching Succession…

I feel like this article shows how batshit America is.

I cannot fathom asking a stranger if I can take a photo of them and their kid.

For something lighter: Absolutely love with my whole heart this PB Tech story.

AND BACK TO BLEAK: The life and tragic death of John Eyers – a fitness fanatic who refused the Covid 19 vaccine - is another very sad story. Have we become immune to these stories? There’s basically nothing Hayden Donnell could write that I wouldn’t love and I love this depressing as all Hell essay: The schadenfreude of anti-vaxxer deaths.

OK light again - I interviewed Rachael King as she leaves Word Christchurch after eight years as the festival programmer.

Joe Rogan is terrible but we already knew that. Yes, really terrible.

The other Rogen is just fine.

And while we’re talking about Christmas: Can holiday movies add diversity and ignore politics?

This is a must-read on the Alice Sebold “Lucky” horror.

I’ve been watching: Succession obviously. I also finished The Morning Show and my GOD what a steaming pile of shit that show ended up being. Wild to think it was so good and it just got so, so, so bad?

What else I’m reading: I really love Chalk, Cheese and Baby by Anna Bloomfield. It’s a sweet little collection of poetry about parenthood and the pandemic and it’s just the little lift my heart needed. It’s by Wellingtonian Anna Bloomfield, with adorable illustrations by Rebecca Gibbs. This little bit definitely resonated:

“Hey kids, I’ve got a new game!

I’ll be silent, and you be the same!

We’ll all be so quiet.

Come on, let’s just try it!”

Instead, they start chanting my name.

She also has very cute gift cards. My favourite is the one below which includes the lines:

Kids are acutely aware
if your mind is directed elsewhere.
No matter the child,
whether wild or mild,
they’ll keep you from work if they’re there

It would make a great gift. You can order it here. Any profits from sales of the book will be donated to two local family-oriented charities, Parent Help and Kahungunu Whānau Services.

I’m also excited about Tatou Publishing. You can follow Tatou Publishing on Facebook. Or on Instagram. I can’t wait to buy Va - Stories by Women of the Moana - It’s edited by two incredible women: Sisilia Eteuati and Lani Young. It comes out 23 December as an e-book so look out for it!

Anyway -

Finland’s PM Missed A COVID Isolation Text Because She Was Out Clubbing Until 4AM

Anti-Jacketers Rally Outside Burlington Coat Factory To Protest Liberal Cold Weather Conspiracy - “First you put on a coat, then you put on a hat and scarf, and next thing you know they got you covered up everywhere but your eyes. Well, if you think I’m going to willingly zip up a straitjacket, then you’re fucking crazy. I can’t use my hands when I wear mittens, and that’s exactly what they want. No one’s going to bundle me up, because this is America. These tyrants know the heat from your body will get trapped inside and boil you alive. And when you think about it, people get cold regardless of what they wear, so what’s a jacket going to do to stop the wind from hitting your skin?” At press time, Stanton added that in just a few short months, all of this so-called winter weather would magically disappear.

Pete Davidson and Machine Gun Kelly compared peen sizes on Calvin Klein’s IG Live. In other penis news - Someone has shared the details about Sex/Life Season 2 & revealed the truth about The Monster Peen. In my opinion: It is fake.

The 8 best Australian true crime podcasts of 2021.

Step inside the very naked archive preserving America's nudist history.

Did you know Scream is gay?

Beethoven, an incel? Fact-checking incels’ claims of their historic icons.

What it’s like to eat at the worst Michelin starred restaurant, ever.

“These are made with rancid ricotta,” the server said, a tiny fried cheese ball in front of each of us.

“I’m… I’m sorry, did you say rancid? You mean… fermented? Aged?”

“No. Rancid.”

That’s all folks! What are you listening to? Reading? Watching? Do you feel ready for Christmas?

Finally - a great memory. Eddie was invited to the sod turning/mauri stones ceremony at the Children’s Hospital and after he put the dirt into the hole he whispered “āmine”. I didn’t think too much of it until we were heading home and he said “Who did we bury?” haha.

Aroha nui, Em x