43 Comments

I didn’t know Lou but I’ve been feeling their loss since I found out this morning. These parasocial relationships we have are so strange. Like I know their advocacy and all the work they did to make our world a better place. And I also know that they loved dinosaurs and ice skating and Stevie and induced lactation to feed their friends baby. And so I’m sad that the world has lost this person who was so special. But I didn’t know them really and my thoughts are with everyone who had the joy of knowing them.

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I feel the same. So sad for Lou and for Lou's people

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This is how I feel too. Sending so much aroha to their loved ones.

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Oh, Emily, I'm so dreadfully sorry for your loss. Your love for Lou shines like a beacon through your words. In situation where there are often "no words", you've woven a magical tribute to your beloved friend

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I didn’t know Lou well, I met them a couple of times through my mahi at RY. I admired their mahi so much, they were changing the landscape of pregnancy care in Aotearoa. Their legacy will continue, they will be remembered.

They’re the 3rd queer person that I know to die by suicide in the last 6 months. When I was driving home tonight, I shed a couple of tears and talked to my mate angus, who we lost in June. I asked Angus to guide Lou home, to hold their hand and to help Lou find peace.

I’m also angry. The 3rd person in 6 months, the 3rd queer person. It’s not fair.

I’m so sorry for your loss Emily, may you find light in the dark. May you feel Lou close to you, and may angus and the other world changers gone before Lou guide them home

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I’ve been taken aback at how sad I’ve been since finding out. Like many of us here I only knew Lou through their work, on social media and subscribing to their writing. I attended a PD session they ran. Like many of us this sadness and fearfulness spirals outward - I feel so worried about autistic friends I know battle suicidal thoughts, about all neurodiverse and trans people, about my friends in healthcare who have to decide every day about how much they can give, about all of us who have to live in this world which can feel so crushing.

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Crying as I read this both bc I feel so sad that they are gone but also bc I was desperately trying to remember what their favourite dinosaur was and you posted it in this and I felt like as a fellow autistic weirdo to Lou I needed to know what their favourite of their dinosaur special interest is and hated that I didn't know... and now I know.

I probably annoyed the shit out of Lou but I adored them and I'm so fucking sad about this.

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Thank you for your words Emily, sending you and all Lou’s people so much love.

I am on suicide watch for a loved one right now, and this news has just hit me incredibly hard.

Lou was incredible. So privileged to have been able to follow their work on line and learn from all they shared.

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I'm so sorry for your loss, Emily. I have had two friends die by suicide. Both were queer. The world really is too hard, rigid in its expectations people adhering to The Norm. If only it wasn't... :-(

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What a beautiful tribute to such an incredible person. Lou touched so many of us with their wisdom, wit and kindness. I didn’t know them in person but I oddly feel like I know them through their writing. Heartbreaking, devastating loss, I hope they are at peace wherever they are.

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I didn't know Lou, but I feel deeply the story of someone who did so much that helped paved the way for kids like my son. I wish I could do something to ease your grief.

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Thankyou for sharing your friend Emily.

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A thousand in jokes with a thousand people because Lou - this is so perfectly written Emily ❤️ all of it.

I don’t have words, but somehow it seems fitting for an online friendship built from sharing pictures of dogs, oh so many dogs but especially Pip. Sharing pictures with Lou brought such warmth and joy.

The beauty of their writing and the genuine connection their conversations gave.

I miss Lou ❤️

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Just found the Lou message I was looking for

I had lunch with my dad and a family friend the other day and my way of making conversation with these two boomer blokes was that I just showed them pics of Pip, they were like “what do you mean you’ve never met this dog? Why do you have so many photos of it?” And I was like “the internet lads, it’s a whole new world”

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I just told Lou (in a comment on their Friday love letter to ice-skating) that one of my new attempts to find some joy and hilarity would be doing hip hop this year. I'm both glad and heavily sad that it will now always make me think of them.

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Such lovely words Emily - thank you for sharing. Lou made a space that was soft and squishy and tender, I’m grateful that I got to hear their voice over this funny old internet for awhile. Sending so much love to you and all those that knew Lou, and to Lou as they make their next journey. Arohanui x

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These words, Emily 🥺 such a huge loss 💚

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I am so sorry for your loss.

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So sorry for your loss.💔

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