Fully support this Emily - I've kept my 10yo and 12yo boys (non-immunocompromised) home from school since late February because I've prioritised keeping them safe and well during a FREAKING GLOBAL PANDEMIC. I don't feel gaslit or undermined in this because I'm one of the lucky ones who doesn't get hammered, but it still hasn't been easy working from home with two energetic and frustrated boys around. That said, I'm planning to let them go back to school in Term 2 (because I can as their risk factors are not high) but I will take them out again if/when I think that's best. Yes, school and social contact is really important but a bit of sacrifice to reduce the risk of getting long Covid or the risk of passing it on to others more vulnerable is an ok balance for me at this time with my particular children. Much love to others doing it tough whether sending their kids to school or not. And please wear a decent mask - they work. xx
Little bit off topic but my 12 and 14 year olds are quite happy to wear masks at school and out and about - I thought my 14 year old who is very popular, outgoing and sociable would be happy to potentially not have to wear a mask at school next term. She said that she wants to keep wearing it as it doesn’t make sense to stop when everyone seems to be getting covid at the moment. My more introverted 12 year old loves wearing a mask as I think she feels more confident somehow with it?
Anyway I think many adults who moan about kids having to wear masks are projecting their own biases, as most kids seem to have adjusted really well to mask wearing and have a lot less hang ups with it than adults. Yay kids!
Hi Emily, thanks for this. I have just been to the funeral of a family member whose very weak heart failed after he contracted COVID. My family has lost a loved and valued member, one whose compromised health meant he could not be protected by vaccination alone. That's our fear for all the vulnerable and the very young. The virus continues to kill, and being afraid of it is rational. Taking precautions to protect yourself and everyone else by vaccinating, limiting contact, masking, sanitising, is not only sensible, it is what we all need to do for the common good, just as we put on seat belts and don't drive drunk. Masking is not an imposition when you realise that it might be the one thing that protects the vulnerable person you don't know as you pass them in the supermarket or sit across from them in the train. All the best xoxo
I am so very very sorry for your loss Sarah. Everything you’ve said is so important for people to hear. Masking absolutely isn’t an imposition when we know it protects ❤️ arohanui
Freedom to choose versus the health of the child…. Apples and oranges are wayyy too close. An abstract principle versus the safety and survival of a human being young enough to be largely dependent on other, adult human beings for said benefits? This incoherent value – freedom from what? To what? – is at the heart of so much that’s dreadful and getting worse. It’s not just nonsensical as an absolute, but it also catches up and dignifies some base and dangerous human traits, which people have to learn to manage at an early age if they are to live around others - to be civilised, in the simplest sense. This is hard enough to witness from the outside - must be close to unendurable from the inside.
💯 that part really infuriated me. It’s just so false to label these things as opposites or that they are not mutually exclusive. I absolutely believe in the freedom to choose - but every choice we make has impacts on others. We decide if we are willing to accept those impacts on others and the resulting impact on us because of our choice. But you still absolutely have medical freedom. A child’s health is far less negotiable and shouldn’t be viewed as such.
That part got me as well ... perhaps you might like to forward this post (as well as your comments above) to the NZ Psychological Society ... this ablelism is being upheld by one of their own in a way that is not only misinformed, but is incredibly damaging - something which goes against their own Code of Ethics (full disclosure - I am a non-practicing Registered Psychologist) . As Janet said, this is hard enough to witness from the outside. My heart goes out to those of you having to endure from the inside - the true experts. x
I think you’ve put this perfectly. I can’t actually imagine being around people I don’t know without a mask on - I’m in no hurry to do so. We’ve kept our kids at school because I’d lose my fucking mind if they were at home with me while I tried to work. We haven’t yet had any communication from their school about masks in T2. Neither of them - both aged nine - have ever complained about wearing masks at school, and they never complain about wearing them out in public, either (and one is autistic and the other one is undiagnosed, but I’m certain she’s on the spectrum, so I wouldn’t have been surprised if they’d struggled). It’s a strange world when kids can handle stuff without drama, but adults keep acting like toddlers about it.
Definitely. And so many people without neurodivergent children say “what about kids with autism! They can’t wear masks!” It’s like the first time they’ve cared about them and it’s just to use them for their agenda 😒 that might not be very fair of me...it just annoys the hell out of me.
My autistic child wore her mask before she had to and will continue to do so until she feels safe because she doesn’t want to endanger the vulnerable people in her life
My autistic pair wear their masks cause little one is fragile and doesn't want to get sick . . . it's not often hard to get them to if they understand why!
💯 (I seldom listen to the views of people who aren’t autistic or raising autistic kids when it comes to anything to do with neurodiversity, to be fair 😂)
Thanks for all your mahi on this Emily. I truely appreciate it. I have decision fatigue and I am so exhausted, and sometimes it feels like noone understands that.
I couldn't agree with you more. My kids are adults, but we have two grandsons too young to be vaccinated, who have to attend daycare. This seems to be a nightmare and a reservoir of Covid infection, which was totally predictable. Despite having no family members who are more than usually vulnerable, I felt sufficiently careful/neurotic/concerned about the health of the country's young people that I wrote to assorted parliamentarians back in January, asking that they consider delaying the start of the school year until the Omicron wave had passed its peak and children aged 5 to 11 had been able to get at least their second dose of the vaccine. I pointed out that little is achieved during February, given school sports, ridiculous heat and several public holidays, and that if infection became widespread, schools and daycare centres would be likely to have to close anyway, landing families straight back in the childcare mess that various authorities claimed opening schools would avoid. There was no reply, from anyone. Since then various experts have also stated that schools are a major source of infection, oddly enough. I am totally in support of parents keeping their children out of the viral puddle if they have the resources to do so, and if they can't, they should be able to have some confidence that basic health precautions, like mask-wearing and handwashing, are being required at the facility their children attend.
Thanks for sharing this perspective, Emily! I saw that term and immediately filed it alongside “woke” as something that’s used as an insult but sounds to me like a compliment. But I can see how for parents who are already feeling so vulnerable, it’s not so easy to dismiss. I feel lucky that my pēpi is still on the inside and I have family, friends and colleagues who support my very careful approach - we are not yet at the mercy of childcare/schools and I can make my own decisions about who I am exposed to. The decisions others have to make are so much harder and they’re lucky to have your support ❤️
Thanks for another great post Emily. And it's not just children; my sister is a kidney transplant recipient and has to take drugs that suppress her immune system. You know, to keep her alive. So she is dependent on those around her being cognizant of the risks they pose to her by their decision making around their right to be "free". Their freedom could easily cause her death.
Thank you for voicing this and calling out the crappy othering in the media. It has been jarring to read the condescension and mockery happening from people lucky enough to have no idea. My 10 year old has volunteered to keep wearing his kn95 masks, because he understands how important it is for his medically fragile and disabled brother and immune compromised parent.
“Professionals in health circles have called them…” I remember reading this in the paper & thinking that’s the kind of bs people say when they just made a thing up and are trying to make it sound more legit
Thanks for this Emily. The article was really problematic and disturbing. Stuff should do better. I am tired of MSM not only reporting on division and calling it 'balance', but actually fostering and creating division. It is beyond appalling, I am so fed up with constant complaints and 'othering' of groups. I have heartfelt sympathy for any parent of a medically fragile child concerned about Covid. We need to awhile each other and not pay attention to this kind of lazy, unhelpful writing for cheap thrills. I don't even call it journalism. It is not.
For what it's worth, arohanui to all the parents out their doing their very best. You are awesome. And you are not alone.
Fully support this Emily - I've kept my 10yo and 12yo boys (non-immunocompromised) home from school since late February because I've prioritised keeping them safe and well during a FREAKING GLOBAL PANDEMIC. I don't feel gaslit or undermined in this because I'm one of the lucky ones who doesn't get hammered, but it still hasn't been easy working from home with two energetic and frustrated boys around. That said, I'm planning to let them go back to school in Term 2 (because I can as their risk factors are not high) but I will take them out again if/when I think that's best. Yes, school and social contact is really important but a bit of sacrifice to reduce the risk of getting long Covid or the risk of passing it on to others more vulnerable is an ok balance for me at this time with my particular children. Much love to others doing it tough whether sending their kids to school or not. And please wear a decent mask - they work. xx
Thank you Nicola ❤️
Little bit off topic but my 12 and 14 year olds are quite happy to wear masks at school and out and about - I thought my 14 year old who is very popular, outgoing and sociable would be happy to potentially not have to wear a mask at school next term. She said that she wants to keep wearing it as it doesn’t make sense to stop when everyone seems to be getting covid at the moment. My more introverted 12 year old loves wearing a mask as I think she feels more confident somehow with it?
Anyway I think many adults who moan about kids having to wear masks are projecting their own biases, as most kids seem to have adjusted really well to mask wearing and have a lot less hang ups with it than adults. Yay kids!
Yes absolutely. I think the same Stella. My boys both wear masks and know why they wear them. ❤️
Hi Emily, thanks for this. I have just been to the funeral of a family member whose very weak heart failed after he contracted COVID. My family has lost a loved and valued member, one whose compromised health meant he could not be protected by vaccination alone. That's our fear for all the vulnerable and the very young. The virus continues to kill, and being afraid of it is rational. Taking precautions to protect yourself and everyone else by vaccinating, limiting contact, masking, sanitising, is not only sensible, it is what we all need to do for the common good, just as we put on seat belts and don't drive drunk. Masking is not an imposition when you realise that it might be the one thing that protects the vulnerable person you don't know as you pass them in the supermarket or sit across from them in the train. All the best xoxo
I am so very very sorry for your loss Sarah. Everything you’ve said is so important for people to hear. Masking absolutely isn’t an imposition when we know it protects ❤️ arohanui
Freedom to choose versus the health of the child…. Apples and oranges are wayyy too close. An abstract principle versus the safety and survival of a human being young enough to be largely dependent on other, adult human beings for said benefits? This incoherent value – freedom from what? To what? – is at the heart of so much that’s dreadful and getting worse. It’s not just nonsensical as an absolute, but it also catches up and dignifies some base and dangerous human traits, which people have to learn to manage at an early age if they are to live around others - to be civilised, in the simplest sense. This is hard enough to witness from the outside - must be close to unendurable from the inside.
💯 that part really infuriated me. It’s just so false to label these things as opposites or that they are not mutually exclusive. I absolutely believe in the freedom to choose - but every choice we make has impacts on others. We decide if we are willing to accept those impacts on others and the resulting impact on us because of our choice. But you still absolutely have medical freedom. A child’s health is far less negotiable and shouldn’t be viewed as such.
That part got me as well ... perhaps you might like to forward this post (as well as your comments above) to the NZ Psychological Society ... this ablelism is being upheld by one of their own in a way that is not only misinformed, but is incredibly damaging - something which goes against their own Code of Ethics (full disclosure - I am a non-practicing Registered Psychologist) . As Janet said, this is hard enough to witness from the outside. My heart goes out to those of you having to endure from the inside - the true experts. x
I think you’ve put this perfectly. I can’t actually imagine being around people I don’t know without a mask on - I’m in no hurry to do so. We’ve kept our kids at school because I’d lose my fucking mind if they were at home with me while I tried to work. We haven’t yet had any communication from their school about masks in T2. Neither of them - both aged nine - have ever complained about wearing masks at school, and they never complain about wearing them out in public, either (and one is autistic and the other one is undiagnosed, but I’m certain she’s on the spectrum, so I wouldn’t have been surprised if they’d struggled). It’s a strange world when kids can handle stuff without drama, but adults keep acting like toddlers about it.
Definitely. And so many people without neurodivergent children say “what about kids with autism! They can’t wear masks!” It’s like the first time they’ve cared about them and it’s just to use them for their agenda 😒 that might not be very fair of me...it just annoys the hell out of me.
My autistic child wore her mask before she had to and will continue to do so until she feels safe because she doesn’t want to endanger the vulnerable people in her life
My autistic pair wear their masks cause little one is fragile and doesn't want to get sick . . . it's not often hard to get them to if they understand why!
💯 (I seldom listen to the views of people who aren’t autistic or raising autistic kids when it comes to anything to do with neurodiversity, to be fair 😂)
Thanks for all your mahi on this Emily. I truely appreciate it. I have decision fatigue and I am so exhausted, and sometimes it feels like noone understands that.
I hear you x I feel so tired when I go to sleep and so tired when I wake up. It feels so constant. Sending you lots of love x
I couldn't agree with you more. My kids are adults, but we have two grandsons too young to be vaccinated, who have to attend daycare. This seems to be a nightmare and a reservoir of Covid infection, which was totally predictable. Despite having no family members who are more than usually vulnerable, I felt sufficiently careful/neurotic/concerned about the health of the country's young people that I wrote to assorted parliamentarians back in January, asking that they consider delaying the start of the school year until the Omicron wave had passed its peak and children aged 5 to 11 had been able to get at least their second dose of the vaccine. I pointed out that little is achieved during February, given school sports, ridiculous heat and several public holidays, and that if infection became widespread, schools and daycare centres would be likely to have to close anyway, landing families straight back in the childcare mess that various authorities claimed opening schools would avoid. There was no reply, from anyone. Since then various experts have also stated that schools are a major source of infection, oddly enough. I am totally in support of parents keeping their children out of the viral puddle if they have the resources to do so, and if they can't, they should be able to have some confidence that basic health precautions, like mask-wearing and handwashing, are being required at the facility their children attend.
Thanks for sharing this perspective, Emily! I saw that term and immediately filed it alongside “woke” as something that’s used as an insult but sounds to me like a compliment. But I can see how for parents who are already feeling so vulnerable, it’s not so easy to dismiss. I feel lucky that my pēpi is still on the inside and I have family, friends and colleagues who support my very careful approach - we are not yet at the mercy of childcare/schools and I can make my own decisions about who I am exposed to. The decisions others have to make are so much harder and they’re lucky to have your support ❤️
❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you Sarah.
Thanks for another great post Emily. And it's not just children; my sister is a kidney transplant recipient and has to take drugs that suppress her immune system. You know, to keep her alive. So she is dependent on those around her being cognizant of the risks they pose to her by their decision making around their right to be "free". Their freedom could easily cause her death.
Yes absolutely Robin. I can’t imagine what that’s like even without the relentless ableism in the media and on socials every day.
Thank you for voicing this and calling out the crappy othering in the media. It has been jarring to read the condescension and mockery happening from people lucky enough to have no idea. My 10 year old has volunteered to keep wearing his kn95 masks, because he understands how important it is for his medically fragile and disabled brother and immune compromised parent.
Honestly I'm filing this term away alongside people who say "if global warming exists why is it cold" and the perverse term "tax relief" smdh 😑
“Professionals in health circles have called them…” I remember reading this in the paper & thinking that’s the kind of bs people say when they just made a thing up and are trying to make it sound more legit
Thanks for this Emily. The article was really problematic and disturbing. Stuff should do better. I am tired of MSM not only reporting on division and calling it 'balance', but actually fostering and creating division. It is beyond appalling, I am so fed up with constant complaints and 'othering' of groups. I have heartfelt sympathy for any parent of a medically fragile child concerned about Covid. We need to awhile each other and not pay attention to this kind of lazy, unhelpful writing for cheap thrills. I don't even call it journalism. It is not.
For what it's worth, arohanui to all the parents out their doing their very best. You are awesome. And you are not alone.