Meditations - Take what you need
It’s raining here. It’s cold. I’m tired. Maybe you’re tired too. The world seems mean right now. So maybe we could do with a little bit of a brain break. A wee dreamy reflection! A mindful moment….
Take what you need and leave what you don’t.
You are a tiny mouse. You are proud of your whiskers and your cute little pink nose. You have ventured out of your warm and cosy little home on the hunt for something to fill your furry little belly. You step out onto the hay-strewn barn floor and suddenly the breeze carries you the most delicious scent. You scurry along following it and before you know it you bounce into an enormous wedge of Gruyère cheese. It is huge and golden and all you can hear is the beating of your good and tiny heart. There is nobody around. It’s just you a little mouse with a very big cheese. You decide to nibble at the corner of the wedge. Oh it is incredible! You are overwhelmed. It tastes salty and sweet and succulent. You nibble and then chomp and nibble and chomp. Your tiny belly expands to make a place for this tremendous treat. You are little, the cheese is big, and life is perfect.
You have lived two years. You are deeply loved. You wake each morning reaching for the one who loves you best. She is always there for you. She reaches down into your cot and her moon-like face is all that you can see. Her smile is so soft and so familiar, her eyes are filled with tired love. She lifts you high and you nuzzle into her silky hair. Every need you have ever had has been filled. You’ve never known any trials in your short life. Everything is easy, smoothed over by the adoration of the adults around you. More than anyone it is she, who holds you, who makes all of your days so perfectly gentle and joyous and hopeful. You grab a clump of her hair in your tiny fingers and pull as hard as you possibly can.
You are above the world. It feels impossible to even think it - let alone say it - let alone live it. Yet here you are. You are weightless. You are surrounded by shimmering stars. You have always known you are part of the galaxy but here, now, you truly are. Mission control crackles through to you and a warm voice is in your ear asking you to confirm you are outside of the Shuttle Endeavour. But for the voice, there is exquisite silence. The Earth is now your only view, it is so vast, so enormous. It is incomprehensible and a tear runs down your cheek as you consider the eight billion people below you. You are not religious, science has brought you here, but you whisper something like a prayer. A prayer for this beautiful planet, this glorious rock beneath you. A wish for survival, for her and all who dwell within.
Pedro Pascal nudges you at the bar and immediately apologises profusely. He says ‘my gosh, I would trip over my own feet if I’ and suddenly he stops. He looks at you properly for the first time and you feel a shock of desire. Of recognition. Of lust. He smiles slowly, pushes a curl from his eyes, and leans back. ‘Wow’ he says. You smile and in a voice you don’t really recognise that sounds cool and calm and collected you say ‘wow, yourself’. He points to your glass and says ‘can I?’ but you shake your head. A deep melancholy washes over him, but you say ‘I can’t have another drink because we’re leaving’. He looks around confused. He sees your wedding ring and says ‘Oh, you’re married?’. You quickly pull the ring off and hurl it across the room ‘no, I’m not’ you say. Pedro Pascal looks confused again. You take his hand and lead him out of the bar. As you slip out the back door you see Leonardo DiCaprio on the floor screaming while holding his eye. A bored 26 year-old model stands next to him holding your wedding ring up to the light. You feel Pedro Pascal’s hand on the small of your back, and your whole body throbs with longing. The cool night air does not satiate the heat between you.
It is your birthday party. Around you are all of the people whose life is better because you live. The mark you have made on them is profound and yet it is mundane. It is ordinary, but it is also extraordinary. Every year that you live your small kindnesses make ripples. Your life sometimes feels small, but it is in this moment that you recognise that this life of yours feels big in all the best ways. You have loved and you are loved. And as the beaming faces of those who hold you dear sing out joyfully you close your eyes to make a wish. And in the quiet of your mind you know you have all you need, so you wish for this peace for all others.
You are a cat that was rescued. You know this because they caught you and put you into a cage and you finally had food and then a child came and now you’re in this child’s house. You scarcely remember it - the before. Before you were hungry, you think. And now you hunger for nothing. The child loves you, there’s no doubt about that. He jostles you from sleep and presses his face into your belly. At first you found this to be an offensive disregard for your body autonomy but now you accept it. The child talks to you all the time and you sense that your presence calms him. His movements, sudden and jerky, used to frighten you but now they don’t. You realise you are growing together. When he scoops you up suddenly now, you no longer freeze in fear - you know the child would never hurt you. Sometimes he cries and his tears wet your fur. This is when you look up at him and touch his nose with your nose. Usually this makes the child smile or if you’re lucky he will laugh and it will sound like tinkering bells. This makes you feel like you are an important cat. You have a job. You were rescued and now you rescue. You are proud.
Emily how do you know the right time that my weary soul needs these 😭😭😭
Wonderful. I loved the cat one. 💗