The Peasant Post! For all of you peasants who don't own multiple houses

You probably have a child out of wedlock too don't you. DIS-GUST-ING!

Oct 02, 2024

Here we are, week one of the school holidays and gosh it is tough to work and look after kids. And I’m one of the lucky ones! I had actually written a post about ableism in the media but I’ve decided to sit on it to make sure I’m still happy with it in a week. Outrageous in this world of churnalism but there we are!

Speaking of churnalism I’ve decided to start a new thing here at Emily Writes Weekly that I plan to probably forget about and abandon just like I have with other new things. But for now, I’d like to introduce: The Peasant Post!

The Peasant Post! is a new round-up for losers who don’t own seven homes and get given $200,000 in untaxed income for doing nothing! Let’s talk about how our proud media is covering various events for us, the peasants of this fair country.

Let’s start with the amazing series Stuff has been doing on John Key who decided to return to Aotearoa from Hawaii for some free publicity.

Stuff has already published: What a millionaire who fled the country as soon as he was finished with his hobby of being PM thinks of the United States election. Surprise! He likes Trump because even though he doesn’t like Trump’s economic policy, Kamala Harris who is currently funding a genocide is a socialist and/or communist and FAR LEFT EXTREMIST.

Can you imagine how great it would be if she actually was literally even centre left?

To follow up with the breaking news and future Pulitizer winning piece on ‘what John Key thinks about the US election’ we had ‘what John Key’s new hobby is’.

“Sir John takes to the skies a couple of times a week when he’s in the country, flying himself to events and speaking engagements, but mostly to golf courses.” - Speaking engagements? Is he being paid for them??! Don’t tell Barry Soper he’ll have a hernia.

I am excited to say that I have a leaked version of the third piece in the Stuff series:

Is John Key beautiful or is he really beautiful? An expose by Stuff.
Today, Stuff sat down with Sir Great John Key his excellence and asked him “Do you like us? I mean do you like like us?”
We also wrote this poem about John Key which we presented to him as we hand-fed him grapes:
Your eyes are as blue as the ocean.
At Stuff we want only your kiss.
Why are we losing traffic?
Why won’t people pay for this?

Over on Newstalk, things weren’t much better. Heather du Plessis-Allan giggled her way through an interview with Christopher Luxon, seemingly forgetting she wasn’t having a dinner party with him and was in fact meant to be interviewing him. Luxon has pocketed some tiny amount like $200,000 and fucking lefties are grilling him for it, not understanding that he worked hard for that money by *checks notes* living in the apartment he bought and then selling it when he no longer needed it (but he still needs his other properties).

Heather “please don’t look too closely at how I cover Te Pāti Māori” du Plessis-Allan, author of such gems as: “Because what is rich? $276m may sound rich to you. But you may sound rich to someone else”, unsurprisingly still hasn’t figured out how capital gains work.

Should we expect more from someone who seems to genuinely believe that the way capital gains tax works is you’re taxed annually regardless of whether you’ve sold your house or not?

Absolutely not. That’s just being envious of her money you God damn peasant. For once in your life can you stop hounding these rich people by expecting them to pay tax. It’s frankly un-New Zealand!

Maybe her husband will have something sensible to say? Sadly not. Barry, in between breathlessly defending Luxon said “He didn’t need to sell it…and I’ve gotta say…” and then I couldn’t understand the rest because it was just heavy breathing and him saying that Jacinda Ardern *checks notes* earns money for doing her job.

“Are we going to begrudge him for getting Sky TV?” he gasped before begging anyone to please also say bad things about Jacinda Ardern including how scandalous it is that she had a child out of wedlock????

Let’s not talk about [redacted] when it comes to Barry and his personal life eh?

Let’s instead leave the final word to du Plessis-Allan: “I’m happy to tax the rich to give money back to average Kiwis. We all are. Until we find out we are the rich.”

Indeed! I know that one day when I’m rich (which is my absolute only goal in life) I hope that I don’t give a single shit about average Kiwis! They’re called average for a reason!

Moving right along…I have been thinking about ethics in journalism and what role the NZ Herald has in supporting Erica Stanford with her worrying poor health. In their piece titled “Education Minister Erica Stanford says her relationship with teacher unions is ‘excellent’” they do not question Stanford on her health, when she is clearly suffering from delusions and hallucinations.

“Everything that we have done has been informed by the conversations that I have had with you, and to be challenged by you, and sometimes it’s uncomfortable,” she added.
“And sometimes the direction we’re taking doesn’t align with some things that other people think, and it can be uncomfortable, but we always take it on board, and we always try and pivot where we can to take in the views of the sector, or certain parts of the sector.”

Ooooh she means Charter Schools? That’s the part of the sector whose views they “take in”. My apologies!

Don’t worry, the NZ Herald accompanied the story with a hard-hitting interview with Stanford where they asked her what school was like for her growing up. She then talked about the liberal experiment of uh..,‘centreing a child in their education’.

Batshit behaviour by Lefties once again! A recent report warned that schools and early childhood centres in Aotearoa are failing autistic and other neurodivergent children on an epic scale. The Education Hub study suggested ~~two hours every day of maths regardless of the learning needs of the child~~ more funding and a law change to force the Education Ministry and schools to provide support for all children with disabilities and learning needs.

Props to the NZ Herald for bringing this up with Stanford. Oh they didn’t? They just ended the interview there? They didn’t mention neurodivergent or disabled learners at all? Oh.

Cute! Love this shot of Erica Stanford waving at Palestinian mothers screaming in agony as they hold their dead children and she steadfastly ignores the hundreds of human rights organisations begging her to do even the bare minimum to save even one life by granting humanitarian visas. She’s just really focused on children ❤️

That’s all for this edition of The Peasant Post! See you next time!

Emily Writes Weekly

The Peasant Post! For all of you peasants who don't own multiple houses

You probably have a child out of wedlock too don't you. DIS-GUST-ING!

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