Gosh I genuinely hate Father’s Day and Mother’s Day. I feel like it’s a capitalist creation that does more harm than good. I don’t need Mother’s Day. It’s my privilege to be my kids mum. Today I’m still recovering from my hip fracture and I’ve got a cold so we’ve done nothing for Father’s Day and I feel terrible guilty about this. I just want these days of obligation and guilt about nothing to go away.
I read this just after my daughter thanked me for telling her partner that he’s doing an amazing job of fathering their 1 month old daughter, that just because she’s unsettled at times doesn’t mean he’s failing. He’s so scared of being like his father. She also told me he cried today because it’s the first time Father’s Day has been positive for him.
I know it’s probably hard to cover all permutations because life. But...
I would like to also promote celebration of those fathers who parent like rockstars despite the mother of their child doing everything possible to prevent this from happening. The fathers who pay child support in cash because that’s how it is demanded but then still feed and clothe those children every second week and cover school fees, school trips, driving lessons, everything you can think of in addition. You call out mothers who co-parent beautifully against the odds but it’s important to remember that goes both ways.
Thank you Emily, for ackowledging those of us who don’t celebrate Father’s Day because our fathers aren’t worthy of it! It’s taken me many years to realise I’m still worthy and loved, even when he couldn’t do that for me. My partner now is the exact opposite of my father and is the best dog dad in the world 🥰
Today might be a hard day
Gosh I genuinely hate Father’s Day and Mother’s Day. I feel like it’s a capitalist creation that does more harm than good. I don’t need Mother’s Day. It’s my privilege to be my kids mum. Today I’m still recovering from my hip fracture and I’ve got a cold so we’ve done nothing for Father’s Day and I feel terrible guilty about this. I just want these days of obligation and guilt about nothing to go away.
Wonderful Emily.
I read this just after my daughter thanked me for telling her partner that he’s doing an amazing job of fathering their 1 month old daughter, that just because she’s unsettled at times doesn’t mean he’s failing. He’s so scared of being like his father. She also told me he cried today because it’s the first time Father’s Day has been positive for him.
I know it’s probably hard to cover all permutations because life. But...
I would like to also promote celebration of those fathers who parent like rockstars despite the mother of their child doing everything possible to prevent this from happening. The fathers who pay child support in cash because that’s how it is demanded but then still feed and clothe those children every second week and cover school fees, school trips, driving lessons, everything you can think of in addition. You call out mothers who co-parent beautifully against the odds but it’s important to remember that goes both ways.
Thank you for recognising those coparenting with very difficult men after escaping those homes of pain. Thank you. Not easy xx
I coparent through gritted teeth and I have a complex dad myself and this day is hard. And now I’m crying. Thank you as always Emily for the insight x
Thank you so much, Emily. I really needed to read your kind words. It's been a really shit hard day. I miss my dad so much.
Thank you Emily, for ackowledging those of us who don’t celebrate Father’s Day because our fathers aren’t worthy of it! It’s taken me many years to realise I’m still worthy and loved, even when he couldn’t do that for me. My partner now is the exact opposite of my father and is the best dog dad in the world 🥰
Thank you 💙 hardest one yet.
What a great piece of writing Emily - you are so good! Thank you
I miss my lovely dad who died when I was 27 therefore before he met my children. I often think what an amazing grandfather he would have been.
Fuck this was beautiful
That's a pretty special piece of writing. Thank you.
Beautiful and all-encompassing Emily. Thank you.