I had a really interesting conversation with a gynaecologist a while ago. She's an endometriosis expert and much of her work is around treating women with endo and with horrific menstrual bleeding. I mentioned my history of menorrhagia and of 38 years, give or take a bit of time off for pregnancy and breastfeeding, and she basically said that women weren't meant to have periods every month. I asked what she meant and she said we were designed for pregnancy and breastfeeding not periods. The periods are part of our extremely fucked up biological nd evolutionary development but that now that we can exercise our choice on the matter there's absolutely no reason why we need to have periods at all unless we want to get pregnant. It really got me thinking about my miserable menstrual history and made me wonder why I had persisted without taking control of it. I could've been on the pill and skipped the sugar pills. I could've had an IUCD fitted (good for my uterus at my age). I could've seen a gynaecologist and arranged an endometrial ablation or a hysterectomy. I don't know to this day why I put up with it all? Anyway, upshot is that I got a Mirena fitted and it changed my life - no more heavy painful Niagara Falls periods that go on for 14 days. Hooray for no periods, I say! Kick them to the curb, we don't need 'em!
My hysterectomy is one of the best things to happen to me, it cured me over night of crippling adenomyosis, endometriosis and fibroids. The day after my surgery the nurse asked me if I wanted more painkillers and I said I wasn’t sure because the pain was so much less than the day before my surgery. People said a lot of weird shit when I told them I was getting a hysterectomy. We need to untangle the stigma around hysterectomy. Now I’m just living my best uterus free life. I also buried mine, as it grew my most favourite human, I wanted to honour it appropriately for me.
Thank you for writing this! I had a hysterectomy two weeks ago and all I read about is the grief bullshit - so it’s refreshing to read this. Don’t get me wrong, I am in no way trying to undermine or lessen their experience and I appreciate that some people will experience grief. I was just feeling a bit weird that I wasn’t feeling that way - my pre op physio session was a lot of “get thee to a counsellor - so I appreciate this alternate view very much!
Also, you hardly ever hear anyone mention adenomyosis and I’ve noticed you mention it regularly - thank you for raising awareness about this.
As someone who pretty much couldn’t leave the house when I had my period, I am very much looking forward to never having my period again (once the current situation down there sorts itself out of course 🙄🤣)
Jul 20, 2022·edited Jul 20, 2022Liked by Emily Writes
I feel like every time I comment I just end up swearing, but please take it as a compliment that your writing hits the spot for me so well that it always inspires a heated "fuck yeah!" response.
Fuck periods! I had relatively painless ones after I started on the Pill at 15 (you know, after I got to the point of vomiting with pain and the doctor finally agreed to put me on it because "gee, I guess it might be a wee bit sore")
Even though I was lucky enough to be able to control the pain I still hated them. The mess. The hormones. The smell. The annoyance of not being able to use tampons or pads because they gave me thrush. 35 years of bleeding every month. So wrong.
I got an IUD in last year and my god, what a godsend. Luckily (again!) I managed to avoid hearing the horror stories about uber painful insertions and I got lucky again in that it went in like a dream, so I am now blissfully period free and feeling like "is this what it's like to be a guy? Cause this is great!"
Add in being paid better, not having to be 150% better at my job in order to be taken seriously, not going through labour and not doing much around the house (I'm married to an old fashioned fella) and I'm wishing I could have been born a guy now.
(Edit to add: obviously the above is a bit tongue in cheek, no offense intended to anyone but it is surprisingly freeing!)
Oh god the cup spray up the wall is so unfortunately relatable 😂🫣 interestingly I have the opposite experience, I had very much not great periods prior to having my child (history of fibroids), but have much more manageable periods post partum. And I spent the last part of my pregnancy thinking I’d have to have an unwanted c-hyst due to placenta accreta, so waking up to hear the OB had managed to save my uterus was amazing (although it’s totally fucked from the surgery and not useful for carrying any more babies anyway). I never in a million years thought I’d ever be grateful to get my period each month but there you go. I know for sure that if I had endo or adenomyosis I’d have been happy for them to yeet it though!
Yep! I remember not quite registering the reality of the liberation till the first time I walked down that aisle in the supermarket and realised I didn’t have to even look.
Ditto, to it all! Except the burying it bit, I hated mine by the time they removed it and just wanted it gone. It always fascinated me that some doctor (usually male), would sit there and tell you that at your age you should really consider keeping it a bit longer, you know, "in case you want more kids", "ahh, there are 4 of them already" or " what if, God forbid, one of your kids dies? And you want another", like kids are interchangeable or something. Why can they not just acknowledge the misery that some of us suffer and accept that we know what we want? I do not miss my uterus, it gave me my kids and I am grateful for that, but the trade off was often horrific and never 3 days of slight inconvenience. (Who even has those periods anyway?)
Totally agree, I was delighted to release my fibroid uterus the size of a rugby ball. And the joy of nevermore grasping clots in both hands...
And watching Frances in Conversations with Friends (Sally Rooney) as she cradled her hot water bottle, then later vomiting as she suffered diarrhoea from her cramps. Never more
I'm so happy for you and all the other people who want them that have been able to have hysterectomies. I've been lucky with my periods but I know my sister and one of my cousins have not. There but for the grace of god etc etc. I hope that greater understanding of endo and other menstruation issues means there's more help out there for people (but I know the state of women's health is...not great so...) Anyway that's around about way of saying hooray for people who were able to get the help they needed.
Also this made me spit my drink..."I will never accidentally flick the cup and spray the wall with my blood." Still happens to me on the regular.
I love this so much! Thanks for writing it! I’ve had mirena coils for nearly 20 years thanks to endometriosis. Years without periods! Cruelly, they have returned as a peri-menopausal gift, but overall it’s beyond wonderful. It’s revolutionary.
Not having periods is fucking marvellous. Liberating. Almost like being a cis man? I had my Endo cysts removed last July and Mirena inserted while was under GA (so no pain)... my life has changed. No debilitating pain every month. Energy all the time. Non-ruined undies, towels bed sheets. Not having to clean blood splatters around the bathroom. What a revelation. My wonderful gyno promised if the bleeding returns when I hit peri menopause she will hook me up w hormones to sort me out. And I’m holding her to it. Never going back to that nonsense.
I’ve been uterus-free for nearly three years and agree, it’s fantastic! If I was capable of not spilling everything I consume on myself I’d even consider white pants!
Great piece! You've written with care and compassion for our range of experiences, without a million caveats or qualifiers interrupting your humour.
Loved 'I was incredibly excited to be yeeting my ute. People really wanted to feel sad for me. But I’m not a TERF, I don’t think my uterus makes me a woman.'
Such an excellent piece of writing! And yes, periods are just horrid! So much suffering there & a bit of craziness too! And for the very little ones who get a period at 9 and 10 years old! What an absolute buggar!
I honestly thought the entire email was going to be two words - "fucking great"
I had a really interesting conversation with a gynaecologist a while ago. She's an endometriosis expert and much of her work is around treating women with endo and with horrific menstrual bleeding. I mentioned my history of menorrhagia and of 38 years, give or take a bit of time off for pregnancy and breastfeeding, and she basically said that women weren't meant to have periods every month. I asked what she meant and she said we were designed for pregnancy and breastfeeding not periods. The periods are part of our extremely fucked up biological nd evolutionary development but that now that we can exercise our choice on the matter there's absolutely no reason why we need to have periods at all unless we want to get pregnant. It really got me thinking about my miserable menstrual history and made me wonder why I had persisted without taking control of it. I could've been on the pill and skipped the sugar pills. I could've had an IUCD fitted (good for my uterus at my age). I could've seen a gynaecologist and arranged an endometrial ablation or a hysterectomy. I don't know to this day why I put up with it all? Anyway, upshot is that I got a Mirena fitted and it changed my life - no more heavy painful Niagara Falls periods that go on for 14 days. Hooray for no periods, I say! Kick them to the curb, we don't need 'em!
My hysterectomy is one of the best things to happen to me, it cured me over night of crippling adenomyosis, endometriosis and fibroids. The day after my surgery the nurse asked me if I wanted more painkillers and I said I wasn’t sure because the pain was so much less than the day before my surgery. People said a lot of weird shit when I told them I was getting a hysterectomy. We need to untangle the stigma around hysterectomy. Now I’m just living my best uterus free life. I also buried mine, as it grew my most favourite human, I wanted to honour it appropriately for me.
Thank you for writing this! I had a hysterectomy two weeks ago and all I read about is the grief bullshit - so it’s refreshing to read this. Don’t get me wrong, I am in no way trying to undermine or lessen their experience and I appreciate that some people will experience grief. I was just feeling a bit weird that I wasn’t feeling that way - my pre op physio session was a lot of “get thee to a counsellor - so I appreciate this alternate view very much!
Also, you hardly ever hear anyone mention adenomyosis and I’ve noticed you mention it regularly - thank you for raising awareness about this.
As someone who pretty much couldn’t leave the house when I had my period, I am very much looking forward to never having my period again (once the current situation down there sorts itself out of course 🙄🤣)
I feel like every time I comment I just end up swearing, but please take it as a compliment that your writing hits the spot for me so well that it always inspires a heated "fuck yeah!" response.
Fuck periods! I had relatively painless ones after I started on the Pill at 15 (you know, after I got to the point of vomiting with pain and the doctor finally agreed to put me on it because "gee, I guess it might be a wee bit sore")
Even though I was lucky enough to be able to control the pain I still hated them. The mess. The hormones. The smell. The annoyance of not being able to use tampons or pads because they gave me thrush. 35 years of bleeding every month. So wrong.
I got an IUD in last year and my god, what a godsend. Luckily (again!) I managed to avoid hearing the horror stories about uber painful insertions and I got lucky again in that it went in like a dream, so I am now blissfully period free and feeling like "is this what it's like to be a guy? Cause this is great!"
Add in being paid better, not having to be 150% better at my job in order to be taken seriously, not going through labour and not doing much around the house (I'm married to an old fashioned fella) and I'm wishing I could have been born a guy now.
(Edit to add: obviously the above is a bit tongue in cheek, no offense intended to anyone but it is surprisingly freeing!)
Oh god the cup spray up the wall is so unfortunately relatable 😂🫣 interestingly I have the opposite experience, I had very much not great periods prior to having my child (history of fibroids), but have much more manageable periods post partum. And I spent the last part of my pregnancy thinking I’d have to have an unwanted c-hyst due to placenta accreta, so waking up to hear the OB had managed to save my uterus was amazing (although it’s totally fucked from the surgery and not useful for carrying any more babies anyway). I never in a million years thought I’d ever be grateful to get my period each month but there you go. I know for sure that if I had endo or adenomyosis I’d have been happy for them to yeet it though!
One of the best sentences you've ever written:
"So when I was finally granted a hysterectomy at 35, I was incredibly excited about yeeting my ute"
But maybe I'm just incredibly excited because I know what yeet means (my 9 year old taught me last month)
Yep! I remember not quite registering the reality of the liberation till the first time I walked down that aisle in the supermarket and realised I didn’t have to even look.
Ditto, to it all! Except the burying it bit, I hated mine by the time they removed it and just wanted it gone. It always fascinated me that some doctor (usually male), would sit there and tell you that at your age you should really consider keeping it a bit longer, you know, "in case you want more kids", "ahh, there are 4 of them already" or " what if, God forbid, one of your kids dies? And you want another", like kids are interchangeable or something. Why can they not just acknowledge the misery that some of us suffer and accept that we know what we want? I do not miss my uterus, it gave me my kids and I am grateful for that, but the trade off was often horrific and never 3 days of slight inconvenience. (Who even has those periods anyway?)
Totally agree, I was delighted to release my fibroid uterus the size of a rugby ball. And the joy of nevermore grasping clots in both hands...
And watching Frances in Conversations with Friends (Sally Rooney) as she cradled her hot water bottle, then later vomiting as she suffered diarrhoea from her cramps. Never more
I'm so happy for you and all the other people who want them that have been able to have hysterectomies. I've been lucky with my periods but I know my sister and one of my cousins have not. There but for the grace of god etc etc. I hope that greater understanding of endo and other menstruation issues means there's more help out there for people (but I know the state of women's health is...not great so...) Anyway that's around about way of saying hooray for people who were able to get the help they needed.
Also this made me spit my drink..."I will never accidentally flick the cup and spray the wall with my blood." Still happens to me on the regular.
I love this so much! Thanks for writing it! I’ve had mirena coils for nearly 20 years thanks to endometriosis. Years without periods! Cruelly, they have returned as a peri-menopausal gift, but overall it’s beyond wonderful. It’s revolutionary.
Not having periods is fucking marvellous. Liberating. Almost like being a cis man? I had my Endo cysts removed last July and Mirena inserted while was under GA (so no pain)... my life has changed. No debilitating pain every month. Energy all the time. Non-ruined undies, towels bed sheets. Not having to clean blood splatters around the bathroom. What a revelation. My wonderful gyno promised if the bleeding returns when I hit peri menopause she will hook me up w hormones to sort me out. And I’m holding her to it. Never going back to that nonsense.
I’ve been uterus-free for nearly three years and agree, it’s fantastic! If I was capable of not spilling everything I consume on myself I’d even consider white pants!
Great piece! You've written with care and compassion for our range of experiences, without a million caveats or qualifiers interrupting your humour.
Loved 'I was incredibly excited to be yeeting my ute. People really wanted to feel sad for me. But I’m not a TERF, I don’t think my uterus makes me a woman.'
Such an excellent piece of writing! And yes, periods are just horrid! So much suffering there & a bit of craziness too! And for the very little ones who get a period at 9 and 10 years old! What an absolute buggar!