I love these questions and I would 100% become a relief teacher again just to pose them to a 7th form class or whatever they're called these days!
All exes - SADBOY (with apologies to the amazing Homer Neurotic!)
I get to dress for the red carpet most Saturday nights in fact last Saturday I wore a massive gold cape hooked over my arms that used to belong to Kita Mean, in the style of Beyonce, and it was sublime. I would like this utterly trashed piece of glorious gold tat to be as good as new for my red carpet.
What do I love about Emily and this newsletter? I love the authenticity, the acceptance and the fierceness. <3
Exes: University Sadboy, Rebound Dickhead, Unemployed Dress-up addict, Delusional Dickhead, Abusive and Complete Gemini.
My last completely frivolous purchase was a preorder of a wicker handbag shaped like a zebra and I have zero regrets.
Money-no-object red carpet- I’d get the costume designer from Mrs Harris goes to Paris to make me a gown, then I would pay Billy Porter to help me style it (just so I could hang out with him) and get a hairdresser who was really good at retro hairstyles to do my hair.
My very best and favourite icebreaker question is “what’s something you’ve done that you’re reasonably certain nobody else in this group/room has done?”. You get some really interesting answers!
Oh and what I love about Emily and the newsletter: she makes me laugh so hard I cry but also feel incredibly seen, and I love how she lets us into her world and get to know her and her amazing kids.
11/10 baseless hilarity, adds 14% participation to all weekly team video call standups, so many opportunities for ridiculous shenanigans, would buy again
I just looked at the squeezy squirrel and 1) It’s on sale, $1.95! 2)You are currently only allowed to buy a maximum of 4 of them. I have questions about the second point.
If I had to choose between being Elon musk or Sean Plunket I would choose to be reincarnated as a dung beetle. If I had to go on the red carpet I would also choose dung beetle.
Gin Powerade. The last time I drank tequila I woke up in a car park clutching my pillow from my bed, with no recollection of how I got there. There isn’t much more to that story either. It’s just, drank some tequila - woke up in car park.
Gin Powerade, because I feel like the bubbles in the berocca will slow you down and fill up your tummy too quickly. Red Powerade would be okay in lieu of blue (but not as fun when it inevitably comes back up because of aforementioned gin).
Our teachers used to just play Shrek when they ran out of fucks. Not even a ‘smart’ tinder-bio-worthy movie eg Shawshank... Teaching is the hardest job and I have no idea how teachers do it every day.
I had to share with husband. I saved the ‘which animal’ question until last - as we’re still really hooked on the Alone series. And then I sang the pigeon meme. Pure gold. Literal LOLs
Microwaved cheese scones are an abomination. Even the absolute BEST EVER cheese scone can be ruined by being chucked in the microwave for a few seconds too long. And then served with a chunk of cold rock hard butter.
Ooh this is fun. Red carpet - devastatingly well fitted Vivienne Westwood in some sort of pale grey-green and huge blonde hair, make up like Juno Birch.
Elon or Sean - Elon because then I could destroy Elon Musk, a better win for the world I think.
The one time I flew business class it was for work in a former corporate life and I asked for chips but they were titchy little bags and I asked for so many the flightie gave me ‘a look’. It was going to be Halloween while we were away so my colleague had brought one of those Andre Agassi style wig and visor combos and showed up to the Koru lounge wearing it. I didn’t know him well enough to know if he’d just bought a terrible wig for his baldness or not and so he just kept it on right until we were on the plane and it was the most awkward thing, right up until like 6 months later when I saw them in a shop and got his joke.
I’m reading this at the same time as everyone else and first of all LOVE IT second of all “Have you ever shat your pants? Don't lie.” WOW TOO SOON.
0h yes
I love these questions and I would 100% become a relief teacher again just to pose them to a 7th form class or whatever they're called these days!
All exes - SADBOY (with apologies to the amazing Homer Neurotic!)
I get to dress for the red carpet most Saturday nights in fact last Saturday I wore a massive gold cape hooked over my arms that used to belong to Kita Mean, in the style of Beyonce, and it was sublime. I would like this utterly trashed piece of glorious gold tat to be as good as new for my red carpet.
What do I love about Emily and this newsletter? I love the authenticity, the acceptance and the fierceness. <3
Exes: University Sadboy, Rebound Dickhead, Unemployed Dress-up addict, Delusional Dickhead, Abusive and Complete Gemini.
My last completely frivolous purchase was a preorder of a wicker handbag shaped like a zebra and I have zero regrets.
Money-no-object red carpet- I’d get the costume designer from Mrs Harris goes to Paris to make me a gown, then I would pay Billy Porter to help me style it (just so I could hang out with him) and get a hairdresser who was really good at retro hairstyles to do my hair.
My very best and favourite icebreaker question is “what’s something you’ve done that you’re reasonably certain nobody else in this group/room has done?”. You get some really interesting answers!
Oh and what I love about Emily and the newsletter: she makes me laugh so hard I cry but also feel incredibly seen, and I love how she lets us into her world and get to know her and her amazing kids.
OMG THAT HANDBAG SOUNDS HILARIOUS
It is! https://wickerdarling.com/products/pre-order-name-the-zebra-bag-wicker-darling
Omg so my most recent trivial purchase was this for my SO:
https://notsocks.co.nz/pop-up-squeeze-squirrel/
POP UP SQUIRREL IS THE BEST
11/10 baseless hilarity, adds 14% participation to all weekly team video call standups, so many opportunities for ridiculous shenanigans, would buy again
I just looked at the squeezy squirrel and 1) It’s on sale, $1.95! 2)You are currently only allowed to buy a maximum of 4 of them. I have questions about the second point.
Tequila berocca. Because if I’m going to be spewing, it might as well look like a sunset rather than a swamp. Not speaking from experience at all.
I shat my pants walking home from the grocery store once, and the worst thing? I was in Levin.
If I had to choose between being Elon musk or Sean Plunket I would choose to be reincarnated as a dung beetle. If I had to go on the red carpet I would also choose dung beetle.
Gin Powerade. The last time I drank tequila I woke up in a car park clutching my pillow from my bed, with no recollection of how I got there. There isn’t much more to that story either. It’s just, drank some tequila - woke up in car park.
The first time I drank tequila I woke up on a golf course green. Maybe we unlocked the secret to teleportation?
I am sorely, sorely tempted to take these to my next Playcentre meeting. 😁😈
OMG I’m on my way to Space class and you’ve just given me an idea...
OMG I have no helpful comments because I am laughing so much I have tears coming out my the top corners of my eyes and also snorted on the keyboard.
the pigeon meme oh it's too much.
I won't answer all but here goes.
Neither drink...alcoholic in recovery
Elon Musk cos rich
Always know where north is except after a seizure.
Every day is a bad hairday, my hair is mental and yes I've shaved it off after a failed self haircut, pre-recovery lol.
Yes I've shit my pants quite a lot, last time, rather spectacularly, during a seizure.
The exes: The tripper, Oh cosmic one and the fuckwit (they all live in Golden Bay so cosmic tripper covers all three).
I love this newsletter the most because of the laughs, but also interesting recommendations for things to read and watch.
Gin Powerade, because I feel like the bubbles in the berocca will slow you down and fill up your tummy too quickly. Red Powerade would be okay in lieu of blue (but not as fun when it inevitably comes back up because of aforementioned gin).
Our teachers used to just play Shrek when they ran out of fucks. Not even a ‘smart’ tinder-bio-worthy movie eg Shawshank... Teaching is the hardest job and I have no idea how teachers do it every day.
I had to share with husband. I saved the ‘which animal’ question until last - as we’re still really hooked on the Alone series. And then I sang the pigeon meme. Pure gold. Literal LOLs
Similarly obsessed with Alone. Would like to say possum but would probably get wigged out and have to settle for a staunch rabbit.
Is there anyway to read that meme without actually singing it!?!
thanks - loving these gems from the back up voices. Get well, Emily
Such a trick question! There are no bad cheese scones.
Microwaved cheese scones are an abomination. Even the absolute BEST EVER cheese scone can be ruined by being chucked in the microwave for a few seconds too long. And then served with a chunk of cold rock hard butter.
Ooh this is fun. Red carpet - devastatingly well fitted Vivienne Westwood in some sort of pale grey-green and huge blonde hair, make up like Juno Birch.
Elon or Sean - Elon because then I could destroy Elon Musk, a better win for the world I think.
The one time I flew business class it was for work in a former corporate life and I asked for chips but they were titchy little bags and I asked for so many the flightie gave me ‘a look’. It was going to be Halloween while we were away so my colleague had brought one of those Andre Agassi style wig and visor combos and showed up to the Koru lounge wearing it. I didn’t know him well enough to know if he’d just bought a terrible wig for his baldness or not and so he just kept it on right until we were on the plane and it was the most awkward thing, right up until like 6 months later when I saw them in a shop and got his joke.